


Up In Smoke

by CommanderGay



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Apocalypse, Blood and Gore, Clexa, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gore, Guns, Mild Gore, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Survival, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:11:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderGay/pseuds/CommanderGay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a post-apocalyptic world run by the undead, is there any room for new found love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Up In Smoke](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/169612) by ItsTheCaptain (Still me). 



> This is told from both Clarke and Lexa 3rd person POV, but probably mostly Lexa's half. Except for the first bit that is told in first person.

The moans and the groans are loud enough to be heard through the five inch thick wall of the building. These are the times where I’m absolutely grateful that I kept hold of that one item through all this time. I turn my IPhone on, stick my earphones in, and lie down on the suspended hammock. I let my arm hang from the thing I called my bed. The one and only person I’ll ever need in this new world of ours takes hold of my hand and squeezes it tightly. It’s a thing we do every night right before we go to sleep. It’s a reminder to the both of us that we made it through another day. Together. Safe in each other’s grasp. One day she’ll save me from a horrific death under the jaws and claws of the undead, another day I’ll repay the favor by slamming my crowbar into the head of one of them as they close in on her. I’m her shelter, she’s mine.

“See you all in the morning.” Bellamy said from somewhere in the room. A few grumbles and grunts were heard from the rest of us before I switched on The Band Perry’s If I Die Young and blocked out the nightmare inducing sounds coming from the other side of the walls. 

 

“Goodnight, Mom.” I said before drifting to sleep.

 

T Minus 32 Days

They descend from the sky and her grip tightens on anything she can lay them on. She squeezes her eyes shut and holds her breath, hoping to pass out so she doesn’t have to be awake for their impending death.

_This_ _is how I die._

“Get your damn claws off of my arm, Lexa. You’re cutting off the circulation. I don’t want amputation to be the first thing I do in New York.”

Lexa lets go of her companion’s arm and opens her eyes to see her smiling out the window of the plane.

“How can you be so calm?” She shoots at her.

“How can you be so scared?” She shoots back.

“You seriously want to rely on three tiny ass wheels to hold this two hundred ton monster as we pelt onto a thin ass runway that probably isn’t even long enough?”

“You, my friend, are delusional.”

“Oh am I?” She asks. She's about to answer Lexa's rhetorical question but she continues. “We don’t know this pilot. He could be clinically depressed and suddenly decides he doesn’t find the world worth living anymore and crashes this plane down. Surprise! You, me, the crying baby two seats behind us, and the rest of these innocent passengers are dead!”

Anya snorts. "You’re ridiculous, you know? Look out the window, put on your big girl panties and relax.” She grabs Lexa's hand to comfort her nerves and Lexa complies, looking out of the window. The sky is a mixture of greens and blues and oranges and the moon is making its appearance. The sun is’t visible from this side of the plane, but surely enough, it was saying its goodnights to the passengers on the opposite side of the hunk of metal they were sitting in. The cotton candy clouds are once again above them as they lower even more toward the ground. Lexa stretches her neck to get a better look at the ground and regretts it immediately.

“Just look at the sky, Lex. It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“Yeah.. Very..” Lexa agrees, keeping her eyes fixed on the watercolor canvas that is the sunset.

How lucky are birds, huh? They get to see this view twice a day every day. Lucky bastards. Sunsets have always been one of Lexa's favorite things. It was a constant thing in a not so constant world.

They land, and despite Lexa's continuous, “The tires aren’t going to hold us, I’m telling you we are going to die!” they are still all in one piece and still breathing. They make their way to the luggage pickup. Lexa finds her world map print luggage easily. Anya, however, is not so lucky. They are there for a good thirty minutes waiting for her luggage to appear.

“LEXA!!! ANYA!!!” A familiar voice is heard from behind them. A very loud and obnoxious voice. Lexa turns around to greet her best friend.

“COSTIA!” Lexa cries out the same way Costia had as she runs toward the two girls. Her black hair falls into Lexa's face when she collides with the two of them for a hug. Her hair smells like peaches and some other tropical shit to match her personality: beachy and fun.

“I’m so so so so sorry I’m late! I got caught in this stupid traffic and I was just like ‘god I’m never going to get to them and they’re going to be standing there for hours thinking I totally ditched them at the airport’ and I was freaking out and I should have just left earlier.”

She shoots out her story like a machine gun, faster than ears can actually hear and the mind can comprehend. She sucks in a breath so she can continue her rant.

“Cos,” Lexa starts. “It’s okay! We’ve been stuck here waiting for Anya’s luggage the whole time.”

“Yeah. They decided to leave mine for last it seems.” Anya says, annoyance evident in her words.

“Good!” Costia exclaims. “Otherwise you would have been so lost with no way to get out of here!”

“That’s not fair.” Lexa objects. “I'm sure it's not hard to figure out how to hail a cab.” Lexa says, giving her friend a bored look.

“Oh my god.” Costia says, letting out a short air of laughter. "Sweetheart, this isn't the South.” She says in a cute and convincing fake southern accent as she squeezes Lexa's cheeks. "You have no idea, Commander."

“There it is!” Anya says, running after her luggage.

They head off to the place Lexa would call home for the next few years. 

*** 

“Welcome to New York, ladies.” Costia says once they are out of the taxi and stepping foot onto the busy sidewalk.

Lexa can’t believe it. She and Anya were in school together in Georgia; Lexa was majoring in Criminal Justice while Anya was majoring in Business. Lexa and Anya were inseparable since they were babies; they met Costia their freshman year of high school. Costia had moved down to New York right after high school to become more of a culinary genius than she already was at the Art Institute while Anya and Lexa stayed in the country together. Now, after so much trying, Costia managed to convince the two that they really wanted to go to the Columbia University of New York and live in the big city with her. Though Costia isn't going to be going to the same school as them, they did manage to find an affordable place to live in together that was between both CUNY and AINYC.

Costia takes them to the second floor of the building they are going to be living in. “Here we are. Welcome to your new humble abode.”

The place is decent. It is one big open room with a door leading into a bathroom. The kitchen is at one end of the room and there are two beds across from each other. A maroon couch is in the middle of the room. "I got these two beds and the couch for crazy cheap the other day. We just need to get a third bed and-"

"And everything else." Lexa says, looking at the empty room.

"Including walls." Anya says, letting her luggage fall dramatically as she looks from one bed to the other.

"See, what I thought we could do was just put up some curtains or something." Costia says. "It'd be cute and fun and we'd still have our privacy but we could still talk from our own beds!"

Anya and Lexa exchange doubtful looks but don't fight the bubbly brunette. What other choice did that have?

"I already picked that bed," Costia says, pointing toward the bed on the right side. "You two are gonna have to fight for the other bed. Someone is sleeping on the couch until we get another one."

Lexa's and Anya's amused looks are immediately replaced by challenging and vicious ones as they both bolt toward the last bed.

* * *

Clarke hands the file to the woman at the front desk. She turns toward the exit as she feels her phone vibrate.

**From Octavia:** What time r u coming home?

She smiles to herself at her impatient friend.

**From Clarke:** Buzz off, O.

She messages her back immediately.

**From Octavia:** I made food tho :(

**From Clarke:** You cook? Since when?

Clarke is almost out of the door when someone calls her name behind her. "Heading out, Griffin?"

She smiles brightly at the guy who spoke to her. "Finally. I was supposed to be gone like an hour ago."

“Hard working Clarke. Always putting her job before herself and anyone who asks her on a date."

Clarke laughs lightly. "See you later, Wells."

Her phone goes off again.

**From Raven:** Don't let her trick you. I bought pizza.

Outside in the darkening sky, Clarke starts towards her car. Before she reaches it, she turns around to get a good look at the building she just exited. She sighs up at the hospital. This was where she was at now, huh? She smiles bitterly at the big luminous "Emergency Room" sign and turns to her car again. She sarcastically thanks her mother for helping her make it as a paramedic as she drives off to her apartment.

 ***

“About damn time, Clarke.” Is the first thing Raven says to Clarke when she enters the apartment.

“Hi to you too, Reyes.” Clarke grumbles as she throws her bag onto the stand by the front door.

“Any longer and O and I were going to eat your cake without you.”

“Cake? Why did you get me a cake? You know how I feel about that.” Octavia throws a pizza crust at the blonde from the couch she's lazily lounged on.

“Don't be a party-pooper. It’s not every day you turn twenty-three.”

Twenty-three. Clarke sighs. She hates birthdays. Don't get her wrong, she loved celebrating them. She loved going out with the girls and drinking and enjoying the night. But another birthday was just another reminder that she was getting old. One more year closer to arthritis and high cholesterol. One more year closer to wrinkles. One more year closer to death.

“Bell couldn’t come because he’s in Virginia for work. But you knew that already.” Octavia says. "But he told me to tell you he said happy birthday."

Clarke nods her response. She'll be sure to call him later and thank him.

“Let's start this three-man party already!” Raven says, bringing three bottles of beer from the kitchen.

They eat the cake and pizza and drink beer together. A while later, the three are starting to feel the buzz.

"Let's call some people over already.” Raven groans as she lays her feet on Octavia's lap and her head on Clarke's.

"I've already texted a few people.” Octavia says. "They'll be here in like thirty minutes."

_Empire State Of Mind_ starts playing on the speakers of the iHome by the TV.

“I love this song.” Clarke sighs, looking out of the wall length window uncovered by the curtains. The sky would be black if it wasn’t lit up by all the lights from the ground. The stars are replaced with lit windows from all of the skyscrapers and airplanes.

  
_“yellow cap, gypsy cap, dollar cab, holla back,_  
_for foreigners it aint fitted they forgot how to act,_  
_8 million stories out there and their naked,_  
_cities is a pity half of y’all won’t make it”_

 

It’s true that half of the people won’t make it in New York. Clarke had witnessed that quite a few times; was witnessing it with Octavia. Clarke was one of the lucky ones. She had a renown surgeon for a mother who gave her the connections she needed to fly by with her career as a paramedic. Her mother wanted her to join her in the surgery department, but Clarke was too lazy to deal with all of the years of school that was necessary for that. She would have much rather done something in the art field instead, but that was a big NO with Abby. But she couldn't complain. If it weren’t for her mom and her dad who was the CEO of The Ark -the newest and most popular phone and technology company out, she wouldn’t be where she was right now; living in one of the best apartments there is down here with her two best friends; saving lives; People Magazine taking notice in her and making her the front page of next month's edition.

She sighs once more. Could it get any better?

“Aaron Garner.” Octavia says.

“Maria Shipman.” Clarke replies back.

"Susan Downy." Raven calls out.

“What?”

“I thought we were naming off random names. Is that not what we’re doing?” Raven asks, looking from one girl to the other. Clarke shrugs.

“You two are stupid.” Octavia rolls her eyes. “Andy Garner. He’s twenty-four. He’s a Capricorn. He likes dogs and action movies. Aaaaand he’s pretty hot.”

“What are you talking about, O?” Clarke looks at her, her eyebrows furrowed. She doesn’t say anything back. She simply turns the laptop she had set on Raven's legs around to show them the screen.

As soon as Clarke recognizes the website, she groans and rolls her eyes. OkCupid is up and a profile of a guy named Aaron Garner is showing.

“Dammit, Blake. I already told you I’m not interested in that stuff.”

“Clarke, listen. I know you’re still high from the success and fame and shit, but you gotta think about other things besides that. You’re missing something in your life, Clarke. And that something is an Aaron Garner, or a Lilly Phillips, or Stephen Middleton.”

“I don’t need that right now.” Clarke says. "Raven, help me out!”

Raven pokes Clarke's stomach. "You can marry me if we're both in our late thirties and still single, got it?"

"See?" Clarke says, mock smiling at Octavia. "Problem solved."

At that time, Octavia's phone starts ringing. She grunts out dramatically as she reaches for it on the coffee table.

She answers and presses the speaker button. "Yo."

“Put it on speaker." A voice comes through the phone.

"Already did, what's up?"

The person on the other side clears their throat before wailing out a song. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Clarrrrrrrrrrrrr~.” She drags Clarke's name out for longer than normal. Actually, she hadn’t stopped yet. Clarke sighs exasperatedly at the girl on the other end of the line. "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-"

“Costia!” Clarke interrupts in a laugh. “I get it!”

“Happy birthday to you!” She finishes. Clarke shakes her head, chuckling.

“Thanks.” Clarke says.

“Hey Cos!” Raven yells out.

“Raven! Listen, I’m really sorry I couldn’t make it to your place today. I was picking up my friends from the airport and then I had to get them situated in the loft and - well we had to get situated in the loft -and it's just been so hec-“

“Costia! It’s alright, I promise. Just make it up to me later or something, don’t worry about it.”

“I promise I will make it up to you. I will buy you the biggest ice cream cake the best bakery in New York can make!”

“Are you trying to make me fat?” Clarke jokes.

“If I did, all the single guys and girls in America would kill me. Everyone is trying to get a piece of the sexiest woman alive! Heck, I would too if I didn’t actually know how frustra-"

“Okay!” Clarke yells out. Octavia and Raven are laughing harder than their stomachs can bear as they try to stay quiet.

“You know what?” Costia says. The tone she suddenly has is probably on the same scale of excitement Otto Frederick Rohwedder had right before he invented sliced bread. “I know a better way to make it up to you. One of my friends that just got in from Georgia is super-duper cute and sweet and funny and she just so happens to be super gay! I could hook you two up on a blind date and-“

“What’s up with everybody today and trying to get me to go on a date??” Clarke exclaims as she lets out a groan. “I don’t want to go on a blind date with your friend. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks.”

“You sure about that?” She tries again. “Actually both of them are into chicks so you could p-"

“I’m positive, Costia.” She assures once again.

“Suit yourself.” The three girls on the couch can practically hear her shrug. “They’re both really cute and gay! Can’t say I didn’t offer. But hey, I gotta go. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, babe. Love you! Happy birthday again!!” And then she hangs up.

Clarke looks at her two friends. “See?” Octavia says matter-of-factly. “I’m not the only one that thinks you need a significant other.”

Clarke throws a couch pillow at her.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to follow me on Tumblr. I just created a new profile specifically for The 100 and Clexa and I'll be posting this on there too maybe: http://itsthecommander.tumblr.com/


	2. PM29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You guys are boring the crap out of me.” Costia groaned from behind the two girls on the couch. “It’s the weekend, can we go out somewhere?”  
> Lexa and Anya had been sitting on the couch for the past three hours playing Call of Duty Black Ops: Zombies in light of everything.  
> “You know we can’t do that, Cos.” Lexa reminded her. “The Army guys said to stay indoors as much as possible until this dies down.”

 T Minus 15 Days

Clarke and her parents are sitting at a table in a very fancy restaurant they had to make reservations for over a month early. The food is amazing and the wine is even better. If that wasn’t enough to convince you, take it from Clarke's mother, Abby Griffin, who is two bottles down and three pitches higher than usual, laughing her ass off at everything and nothing. They finish dinner with half of the restaurant glaring at them and mentally throwing their steak knives at them.

Once they are back in Clarke's parents' home, Abby stumbles her way to the couch and collapses down on it, only to roll right off like a beach ball. Jake rushes over to help her up.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it!” She argues, flinging her feathered boa at him; she left the house without a boa and came back with one that was hanging from the wall decoratively in the restaurant.

Despite the protest from Abby, Jake still helps her back onto the couch.

“My handsome husband. You’re so handsome.” After getting those words out, she's out like a lamp. Jake chuckles at the sight of his snoring wife before sitting beside her. Clarke sits down and sighs in relief.

“So how is everything going, Clarke?” He asks.

“It’s great.” She answers emotionlessly. Exhaustion and gravity are making sure to keep her on this couch and her voice monotone.

“Doesn’t sound too convincing to me.”

“No, really. It’s great.” Clarke ensures. “I’m just so tired.. I’m always working and I never have time for just relaxing. It’s exhausting.”

“It’s tiring saving lives, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“It is, but mom is proud of me.”

“So am I, Clarke.” He smiles knowingly at his daughter. "But you know we'd both be proud no matter what you did."

"Thank you, daddy.” Clarke hugs him and lays her head on his lap to get more comfortable. “But you know mom wouldn't be the happiest person. Besides, I like my job too.”

“I just want you to be happy, Sweetpea.” He says, squeezing Clarke into him.

“I knoooow. And I _am_ happy.” She groans, tasting the tinniest hint of a lie in that sentence.

“I know you, Clarke. Your natural instinct is to take care of everyone around you before you take care of yourself. But this is your life. Live it how you want.”

Clarke smiles lightly. He always knew how to make her really think. He strokes her hair like he would do when she was a child and she closes her eyes. She's slowly drifting to sleep in his lap when he speaks up again.

“Have you heard about the new virus that’s spreading?”

“Hmmm?” Clarke mumbles. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Because you’ve been busy all day. It was just announced this morning that a new unknown virus has been spreading around the States.”

“Oh really?” She says, more interested in sleeping than about some flu virus.

“Yep. They said it’s pretty dangerous. They’re saying that-"

He's cut off by a loud snore from Abby. Clarke sits up from his lap.

“I’m so tired.. I should back to my place. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Jake kisses Clarke's forehead and bids her goodnight before she leaves the house and starts for her place. When she gets to her apartment, she finds a sleeping Octavia and Raven cuddled together on the couch, having fallen asleep watching Netflix. Clarke snaps a photo on her iPhone for blackmail before heading to her room and dropping onto her queen sized satin blanket covered bed. 

* * *

  
T Minus 6 Days

“I’m kicking your ass, Anya!” Lexa pushes her friend hard.

“This has nothing to do with winning or losing, mind you.” Anya pushes back.

“You say that because you’re losing.” Lexa teases.

“No, I’m saying that because it’s true! We’re killing zombies, not each other!”

“Yeah, but I’ve got more points than you!”

“You guys are boring the crap out of me.” Costia groans from behind the two girls on the couch. “It’s the weekend, can we go out somewhere?”

Lexa and Anya have been sitting on the couch for the past three hours playing Call of Duty Black Ops: Zombies in light of everything.

“You know we can’t do that, Cos.” Lexa reminds her. “The Army guys said to stay indoors as much as possible until this dies down.”

“Which it won’t.” Anya adds. “It’s the start of the zombie apocalypse, I’m telling you. Why do you think it’s spreading so fast?”

“Enough with that zombie stuff, Anya!!!” Costia complains. “It’s tiring enough watching you guys shoot zombies all day on the Xbox, I don’t want to hear any more zombie talk.”

The two gamers look at each other with the same exact expression of amusement on their faces before bursting into laughter.

The situation was honestly no laughing matter, but it was the best they could do to keep from worrying. That, and talk about how it’s going to end up being a zombie apocalypse. The news spread almost as fast as the virus itself. The virus spread so fast around North and South America and managed to reach Europe by the end of yesterday. It was the last they heard from any foreign news. Everyone was in freak out mode. New York had become a Hell hole of riots and lootings. PM29 is what they were all calling it. Lexa and Anya had another name for it though: The Zombie Virus. The CDC and the WHO hadn't discovered a cure for it yet and it was spreading so much so fast that it was no longer just a sickness. It was a plague. And while the two girls shouting at each other in front of the TV seemed like they were pretty calm about it, they were really trying their hardest to cover up their panic with such talk as zombies.

Costia, on the other hand, had been on the verge of tears all day. While Anya was able to call her family in Georgia early in the morning today, Costia was not so lucky. She called her parents about twenty times already but neither of them had answered.

“Cos, calm down! It’s all going to be okay!” Lexa assures her, patting the couch cushion beside her for Costia to sit down. “Even if the dead were to actually come back to life; which is impossible; you have me and Anya to protect you.” She sits down on the couch and Lexa wraps her arm around the girl's shoulder.

“By the looks of it, Anya won’t be of much help.” She points with her chin to the score on the screen and Lexa can’t hold back a laugh as Anya punches her arm.

“I’m just off of my game today, is all.” Anya defends. “Don’t worry, I’ll do better in real life.”

“And if she doesn’t,” Lexa butts in. “She’s got the apocalypse survival ideas, so we gotta keep her alive.”

“Pretty much. And I’m the tall one out of us, so it’s not like you could out run me either. So don’t you think about leaving me.”

Lexa and Anya are zombie fanatics. Lexa and her father always talked about zombies together before he passed away. What weapons they would use, where they would seek shelter, what to bring with them if they had time to pack. Anya and her dad were the same, but that was no surprise. Anya's dad and Lexa's dad were best friends since they were stationed in Korea together before either of the girls were born. Costia never found the zombie idea interesting.

“You two are like fourteen year old boys when you talk about that crap.” was along the lines of what her thoughts of it were.

“Come on, Cos,” Lexa hands her the Xbox controller. “Play a game or two to get your mind off of the disaster going on outside."

T Minus 2 Days

"It has only been fourteen days since the PM29 virus surfaced from the unknown and it’s worse than anyone had ever imagined. Scientists from the Center of Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia have said that this pandemic, which was first thought out to be nothing but another Swine Flu type of outbreak, has now surpassed the Bubonic plague of the 1300s as the worst plague type disease in history. We highly recommend staying indoors and locking your doors. If you or anyone you know has become sick or show symptoms such as high fever, difficulty breathing, headache, sweating profusely, joint pain, or coughing, please get to the hospital.

“Going to the hospital should be the only reason to leave the safety of your homes. Do not open the door for anyone you do not know. As you can see behind me, the streets of New York have been nothing but chaos since yesterday. From looting electronic and clothing stores, to raiding gun shops and food markets, people are stopping at nothing to get what they want or need. The death rate has sky rocketed sufficiently, and not just from the plague occurring, but the amount of proclaimed self-defense shootings and muggings. This is not a-”

Anya turns the TV off, unable to hear more without her stomach exploding. The three of them sit in silence staring blankly at the black screen, unable to talk about what was going on. They honestly had no idea what was going on! Anya was still able to talk to her parents last night and all they said was that something weird was happening and they couldn’t explain it.

“Stay inside, honey.” Anya’s mom was crying. “Don’t go outside for anything.”

“Find a weapon.” Her dad said. “Find anything you can. A knife, a gun, and bat, anything. Stay on the defense. We love you with all of our heart, baby. We love you so much.. We love all of you..."

Now, they had the door locked and the windows are covered by curtains. They kept the lights off to make it look like no one was there in case someone were to try and break in. The only sound heard are the sound of nonstop sirens and shouting on the streets of the big city. They stayed together at all times. Jokes about their impending doom were no longer shared, along with the undead apocalypse idea. There was absolutely no way that someone could die and then come back to life. It was scientifically impossible. So why did Anya’s mom sound so scared? Why did her dad tell them to arm themselves?

What exactly was going on outside of this building?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter came out soon than I thought. I'm going through a breakup with someone I thought I'd spend my life with, so I'm using this as a getaway and distraction. Instead of just crying all day, why not write and cry?? Lemme know what you think guys and check out my Tumblr. It's two days old so my stuff still isn't coming up in the tags, unfortunately.  
> Username: Itsthecommander


	3. D-Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarkes breathing turned into hard sobs as Abby grabbed her now clean hands to get her attention.
> 
> "He would have killed you, I had to, I had-" Clarke cried, her voice breaking.
> 
> "It's okay." Abby said comfortingly, despite the salt water rivers on her face.
> 
> "I had to, I had to..." Clarke chanted as Abby whispered 'It's okay' into her ear repeatedly. "What did I do..." She cried.

It was getting worse and worse and they were only fifteen days into this PM29 plague. Everyone was warned to stay inside at all times for their safety, but it was easier said than done when your own father was showing symptoms. Jake's fever was through the roof and he had started coughing up blood right before Clarke left. Raven and Octavia offered to join her to get medication from CVS that might help. Jake and Abby were practically their parents as well, after all. What they really needed was to take him to the hospital, but the roads were completely blocked off by traffic and people running around like maniacs as though the whole world was ending, which it seemed as though it was. So instead, the three of them ran to the CVS a few blocks down while Abby stayed in the loft to take care of her husband.

“Clarke!” Raven calls from across the medical aisle of CVS. She tosses Clarke a box of medicine. The store is crowded with people; crying children, women asking for help, men rushing from here and there to get what they needed before another guy took the last one, and sick people trying to find something to help them. Already less than half of the medicine and bandages and snacks and electronics are gone. Someone had smashed most of the ceiling lights before they had gotten there, so they relied on the sun shining through the windows to find what they needed. Raven ad Octavia take as much as they can of food, water, and batteries as Clarke's arms are filled with medicine as she shoves them in plastic bags before they leave.

Outside on the streets was something out of the start of an apocalypse movie. People are screaming and crying and smashing windows and stealing cars and catching things on fire. Sirens are heard from all corners and three helicopters fly overhead in the span of a minute. The sky is practically black from buildings going up in flame and a cop is being beaten by five guys across the street from the girls. A gun shot is heard from what sounds like the other side of the building they are passing.

Octavia feels a vibration coming from her jeans and feels where it's coming from to find her phone vibrating. She answers the phone. “Hello???”

“Octavia? Thank fuck you answered.. Where are you???” It was Bellamy.

“Bell! Oh my god it’s crazy out here. I’m so scared right now.”

“Where are you??” He repeats.

“I’m almost at Abby's and Jake's house, why?”

“We need to get out of here. It’s too crowded. If the virus doesn’t get us, the people will.”

“Sounds like a plan. Where do you want to meet??”

“Come to the pier. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“The pier? That’s so far away in this chaos!”

“Bring any weapon you can! It’s not safe around here, O!” He sounds panicked, but then again so does Octavia. He must be outside already.

“Okay, okay! We're just going to get Clarke's parents first and we’ll all meet up!”

“Do it quick, O! This could get worse before the damn day ends. I want to be gone within an hour, got it?? What the fuck is that!!!??? Oh my god, Octa-" The phone cuts off before he finishes.

“Bell? Bellamy?? Shit!!” Octavia exclaims. Clarke takes Octavia by the arm and pulls her down the crowded street and closer to the house. A lot of the houses around them had already been broken into and one is actually on fire. There is yelling in a house across the street and a gunshot sounds inside. Clarke focuses her attention in front of her until they finally reach their destination. Raven, Octavia, and Clarke enter the house and close the door immediately behind them.

Clarke leans against the door for support as she tries to catch her breath. The large living room is only lit by the sun coming from the half closed curtains, casting weird and discomforting shadows on everything. Raven searches the kitchen and living room for Abby and Jake but don’t find them there.

“Abby?” She calls out. “Jake?” Raven and Clarke stare at each other in silence as they wait for a response back. Nothing comes.

“Dad?” Clarke tries this time.

She starts for the hallway. An uneasy feeling runs up her spine. “Guys.” She looks back at the two girls standing near the end of the hallway. “Be careful. Something isn't right.." Raven and Octavia nod at her and she turns back to the hall.

With trembling hands, Octavia dials up Costia’s number. Maybe she can get her to meet up with them at the pier.

“Hello??” Costia’s fear filled voice comes through after the second ring.

“Cos, oh thank god.. Where are you?”

“I-I.. We’re at the loft trying to find a way out..”

“Listen, Costia. Bellamy called and we’re all meeting up at the pier and getting the hell out of here. Meet us at the pier by an hour! Bellamy said we're leaving after that so get there as soon as possible!”

“O.. I.. I just.. We just.. They just came at us and we had to-"

“Costia, what’s going on over there???”

“W-we.. We had to ki-"

There is a bang from her side of the phone, followed by screaming and something else Octavia can’t quite put her finger to.. some sort of gurgling sound..

“Costia????” _Was that Costia screaming??_

"Mom???" Clarke's voice is heard from down the hall. Octavia looks up to see Abby come through a bedroom door, panic-stricken.

"Clarke!" She says in a loud whisper. "Clarke, we have to get out of here!"

"Where's dad?" Clarke asks, looking into the empty room Abby had just come from.

Suddenly, an ear piercing nails against the chalkboard scream is heard near the kitchen. Octavia looks around for Raven, but doesn't find her beside her like earlier. Clarke joins Octavia as they run down the house. What they witness next is something no one expected to ever see happening outside of a movie. Raven is pinned to the ground by what seemed to be Jake, but doesn't look exactly like him.

"DAD????!!!" Clarke screams at him. Octavia is the first to take action as she pushes him off of Raven. What they pin to be Clarke's father isn't fazed whatsoever by her physical assault on him and only growls an unpleasant and nausea inducing sound. He grabs hold of Raven's foot and pulls the screaming Latina closer to his open mouth. Octavia grabs Raven's arms and pulls her in the opposite direction.

“DAD, STOP!!!” Clarke pleads as she watches the scene taking place in front of her, frozen in terror. “LET GO OF RAVEN!!!!”

Octavia manages to pull Raven out of his grip and Raven drags herself as far away as she can. Clarke takes a better look at her dad crawling his way closer to Octavia. This creature is definitely her dad, but yet nothing like him. He has the same features, but his skin incredibly paler than her tanned father and looks as though it's in the first stages of decaying somehow. The rim of his eyes are a dark purple and his eyes themselves.. They are no longer the same color of Clarke's. They are no longer that special blue. They are no longer filled with love and care. They are glazed over in near white tint and filled with death.

Clarke is frozen in fear as she stares down at those terrifying eyes that once made her feel safe. She's like a deer in headlights, waiting to be crushed as he stands up and comes toward her. She is finally pulled out of her daze when Abby runs forward in tears, begging him to stop. He grips her shoulders hard and throws her to the ground, snapping his teeth at her hungrily.

“DAD!!!” He ignores Clarke's cry again and continues his attack on Abby.

“CLARKE!!!!” Her mother screams.

Clarke pushes him off of her but he only rolls right back on. Abby holds him away by his shoulders as he chomps his bared teeth at her. Her arms are shaking as his weight obviously drains the strength she has.

"Clarke!" Clarke looks toward Octavia, who throws a small snow globe at her from the living room coffee table. Clarke's mind shuts down completely as she catches the object and she finds herself turning to her fighting parents and swings the thick glass ball toward her father's head. He falls to the side for a second until he rolls back onto Abby. Clarke swings the globe harder this time, hearing a sickening crack come from Jake's head. He ignores it and continues his attack.

"Clarke!!!!" Abby cries out, her arms threatening to give in.

 _I'm sorry, dad..._ Clarke thinks to herself as she swings the globe with all her might. The glass shatters and the water spills out and onto all three of them. Jake falls to the ground. Before he has time to climb back on top of Abby, Clarke climbs on top of him and continues to slam the globe into his head.

When he finally stops fighting back, she opens her eyes and drops the globe from her grip. Blood is everywhere. His head is crushed and unrecognizable. She is covered in his blood, her hands painted crimson in what she had done to the one man she loved. The man who was her greatest fan all of her life. The man she could always rely on. The man she just killed. Her father.

Panic strikes her as she gets up, staring from her hands to the corpse on the ground below her. She shuffles to the kitchen and screws the sink faucet on, taking a hand towel from the drawer beside it. She dips the towel under the water and begins scrubbing her hands. The water turns red as the blood washes from her hands, but she doesn't see that. All she is seeing is red staining her hands permanently.

Abby walks toward her hyperventilating daughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. Clarkes breathing turns into hard sobs as Abby grabs her now clean hands to get her attention.

"He would have killed you, I had to, I had-" Clarke cries, her voice breaking.

"It's okay." Abby says comfortingly, despite the salt water rivers on her face.

"I had to, I had to..." Clarke chants as Abby whispers 'It's okay' into her ear repeatedly. "What did I do..." She cries.

They stay in that position as Octavia and Raven watch silently from behind until Clarke finally calms down enough to be led toward the door. Raven and Octavia follow.

“Why are you limping?” Clarke asks Raven through her tears.

She wraps Clarke in a hug. “I twisted my ankle when I fell... His grip was so strong...”

Clarke looks back down at what was supposed to be her father. The pool of blood flowing from his head forming a dark red lake.

“Come on, Clarke.. We can’t stay here.. We have to go..”

* * *

Anya is packing a backpack already. They decided that the best thing to do right now was prepare themselves for the worst. The worst, in their minds, is evacuating New York to get away from the riots. They plan on leaving before the sun set.

It had gotten absolutely crazy all over the place. There wasn’t a moment when there wasn’t screaming heard outside of their building. But occasionally those screams would sound as though someone was being murdered and they would hear weird sounds along with it that they just couldn’t describe. Looking out of the window, all they can see is smoke and the occasional flashing blue and red lights.

Earlier today, Anya called her parents once again. To their honest surprise, they answered.

“I know we told you to stay inside yesterday, but you cannot do that.” Her dad said. “Do not stay where you are. New York is a big place and that’s the worst kind of place to be. You three need to leave the city. You need to pack up the necessities for survival and leave as soon as you can. It’s only going to get worse. I know you and Lexa are going to be fine if you use your survival instincts. Please, don’t let it be too late. Stay safe and do not trust anyone.”

They didn’t understand what in the hell was going on, but they didn’t question it so much. They only did what Anya's dad said and packed as much as they could. A backpack for food and water; a backpack for medicine, flashlights, batteries, matches, etc.; a backpack with two extra pairs of clothes for each of them, blankets, and personal hygiene items. Anya is still packing up the miscellaneous bag after Lexa finishes the food and blankets one. She's obviously scared and her hands don’t stop trembling as she continues to fumble with things.

Lexa squeezes her shoulders gently. “Anya, calm down.” She says in a hushed tone. “We have to have a clear mind right now. We need to get this stuff packed and ready to leave. Let me help you, okay?” Anya nods and Lexa starts grabbing things from the bathroom and kitchen and shoving them into the pack. A small pot for cooking, duct tape, a multipurpose tool, first aid kit. She runs to her bed quickly and lifts the pillow, pulling out a dagger from under it; she can't forget that. She slips it into the bag she would be carrying.

Lexa is throwing a book into the bag when someone bangs on the door. The three of them stop any movements they're making and look at each other in fear. They stay silent as they wait, hoping that the person would leave.

“Mmmmgh.” A pained moan comes from the door, as does more banging.

Costia walks up to the door. “Hello?”

Lexa swats at her from the other side of the room, signaling her to get away from the door and stay quiet.

Another pained moan is heard, only louder this time. Costia ignores Lexa’s silent plea for her to leave it alone and opens the door. Hell walks into their loft. Four people they recognize to be their building neighbors stumble in. Their skin is peeling off and discolored and their eyes are unfocused. That is, until the one in the front’s eyes focuses on the closest person to it: Costia. It starts for Costia and she backs away, her mouth agape to scream but nothing coming out. Instinct hits Lexa almost immediately. They aren’t normal. They look just like what she's seen in so many movies and shows. She grabs the closest thing to her and runs at the thing closing in on her best friend. Lexa swings the tall lamp at it, hitting its stomach. It doesn’t exactly do much but stumble backwards and change its target to her. She tries again with the lamp, this time hitting it dead set on its head of hair. It falls to the floor but continues to move.

Lexa can see Anya wailing on another one of those things with a bat. Lexa looks back down at the one crawling at her and smashes her lamp into its skull, caving it in. Blood splatters onto the floor and her clothes, but she ignores it.

“Cos, grab something!!” Anya shouts at her. She only stands in her spot in shock. Lexa grabs at a dining table chair and slams it to the ground, breaking it up and leaving her with one of the wooden legs. She shoves it into Costia’s hands. “COSTIA, DON’T JUST STAND THERE!”

She hears a groan right behind her and pushes Costia out of the way before turning around. Another one of those things is right behind her. She swings the already broken lamp into its temple and continues her assault on it when it's on the ground. When she's done, she looks up to see Anya locking the door shut again. Costia is still in the same spot she was in when Lexa pushed her. Lexa drops the lamp and looks at her trembling bloody hands.

“What the fuck was that???” Anya exclaims. Lexa shakes her head, unable to answer that herself, though she knows what it looked like. “We have to get out of here now.”

Lexa brushes the shock from her mind and runs for the backpacks, slinging the miscellaneous one around her shoulders. She tosses Costia the blankets and clothes backpack and Anya takes the last one. Lexa pulls out her dagger from the bag and pulls a few kitchen knives out just in case. She pulls Costia with her as she gets to the door. Anya opens it up and peeks into the hallway. Lexa hears a nearby loud groan before Anya shuts the door again.

“It’s a no go on the hallway. It’s infested with them. They’re fucking eating someone out there!”

They opt to use the fire escape to go down to the streets, but find that the ground right below them is too crowded to be safe. Climbing up onto the roof is their only option. They're lucky enough to be roomed on the second to top floor at least. Costia is slowly regaining awareness of the situation and only needs a little boost through the window and onto the fire escape. They climb up the stairs and onto the floor above them to find that the ladder to the roof is broken. They'll have to climb the rest of the way. Anya is the first on the rooftop and Lexa is going to be the last one up, that way Costia has help from both ends. Lexa is trying to climb up when a loud bang is heard from inside. She looks through the open window to see two more of those things inside of the loft.

“Help me up now!!” Lexa yells up at the two girls on the roof. She looks back into the room. They both have their white eyes staring into her as they come her direction. Her heart is pounding in her chest so hard it might have been able to jump right out of her throat.

“Jump, Lex!!!” Costia screams back at her. She jumps, but she can’t reach their extended hands. If she was just an inch taller she would be able to grab them easily. She tries again but no progress is made. The two creatures inside are only about ten feet away now.

Lexa looks back up to see Anya bring her bat down. Lexa grabs hold of it and Anya and Costia pull with all their might. They lift Lexa off of the fire escape and the moment she's in reach of the roof’s edge, she clings to it and pulls herself up only seconds before the two in the room make it to the balcony. She sprawls out on the roof, catching her breath with her two friends who had just saved her.

Their break lasts for a mere thirty seconds before they get back up and look at the scene happening before them. If this was a comic book, the sky would be red with blood. Hell, the sky was practically red in their eyes.

“This can’t be happening..” Anya says.

But it is. The ground below them is chaos. People are going crazy, catching things on fire and smashing cars and windows. People are being attacked by other people; whether it was more of what _they_ had just escaped of just normal people, Lexa isn't sure. A distance away, she can see someone being ripped to shreds by someone.

“Hello?” Costia suddenly says. Lexa looks at her to see her on the phone. “I-I.. We’re on campus trying to find a way out..”

_Who is she talking to??_

“O.. I.. I just.. We just.. They just came at us and we had to-“

Well there's the answer. Anya and Lexa had met Octavia and her friend Raven a few times.

“W-we.. We had to ki-“ she tries to switch the phone to her other ear, but her shaking hands drop it instead and the phone falls from the rooftop. “SHIT!” They look down to see it had landed right beside a poor girl who has just become dinner.

“She told us to meet her at the pier in an hour.” Costia says, looking away from the girl on the ground.

Lexa looks at their surroundings once more. There is no safe way down the roof without being trapped by those things or the rioters on the streets. They'll have to wait a while until they can go.

“I don’t think we’re gonna make there on time...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought about this chapter and don't forget to subscribe to receive the updates!


	4. Just a Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Anya was making weird noises last night. I thought she had turned in her sleep and was going to cave her head in.”  
> “With a shoe?” Anya bumped Lexa with her shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a long wait, I've been a little distracted and busy. But here's a long chapter for you :)

222 Days

The sun is coming up, which means it's time to get going again. Lexa rolls her sleeping bag up and hooks it to the top of her hiker’s pack before waking the other three. She hadn’t slept half of the night. Then again, she doesn’t sleep much anymore anyway. She's always on her guard now, even when she isn't on guard duty. Even when she was asleep. She pulls a worn out folded piece of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans and a pencil from the side pocket of her pack. She draws a tally mark beside the rest of the small black lines before folding it back up and sticking it in her pocket again.

The girls packs their things back up without a word as Lexa undoes the ropes and small metal objects from the trees surrounding their “camp site”. She hands them to Costia so she can untie the cans and whatnot from the rope and put everything away. Once everyone is ready, they set off.

They easily maneuver their way through the woods like it's their own home. It had been their home for _months_ , so in a way it makes sense.

They stop at the first animal trap Lexa had made. Nothing is there except the intact trap itself. Anya undoes it and packs it back into the bag without a word before starting for the next animal trap.

When they get to the spot, there is already someone there. Well, more like some _thing_. It's kneeled down where Lexa had laid the trap and is chewing on something. They take a better look to see a rabbit ear hanging through its hands. Anger and frustration fills Lexa to the brim as she moves closer to the Stiff. It turns around to see her just in time for her to stick her sword into its skull. It falls to the ground dead. Again. She doesn’t care. She lets her frustration take over as she lays more blows on it. The girls behind her don’t pull her away, they don’t try to comfort her, nothing. They let her take it all out on the Biter. She steps away when its head has been replaced with chunks of flesh and bone and blood.

“Fuck!!” Lexa yells out as she grabs what is left of the rabbit. _“Jok!!”_ She throws it back to the ground in a state of fury and paces around the tiny bit of woods.

 _“Nou get yu daun, Leksa.”_ Anya finally says. She sounds as dead and the two previously living creatures now lifeless on the ground. “We can try again tonight.”

“Tonight?” Lexa doesn’t bother looking at her. “We’ve been doing this for weeks with nothing to show for it!”

“Lex..” Costia mumbles.  Lexa looks back at them finally. The three of them look lifeless. They had all lost so much weight since the absolute beginning. All four of them had. But these last few of weeks had been hell for them. Every night, Anya and Lexa would set up traps to catch animals; every morning, they checked to find them all empty. This is actually the first animal and the first Biter they have seen this whole week. This set of woods was just completely dead.

 _“Mod_ _a.."_ Lexa says. _“Ai jos.. ste pis.. en enti..._ _"_

Costia smiles sadly at her and pulls her in for a hug.

“ _Nou get yu daun, Leksa._ We’ll catch something soon.” Indra says, patting Lexa's back before they set off through the woods once again.

It had been a little over seven months since the outbreak occurred. About five months of surviving in the outdoors, re-killing the dead and fending for yourself on a whole new level can really harden you up. That’s what it did for the four of them for sure.

They never made it to the pier that day. They knew they weren’t going to make it in time the moment they looked at the streets. They were trapped on that rooftop until the sun started going down. At that point, they had mustered up a plan to get out of there and journey away from the big city. There was nothing they could really plan out for getting through the city alive; they just went on hope for that part. They found Indra a week later. She was seconds away from being Biter food when Lexa saved her.

They needed to get away from big cities and large populations; that's what Anya's father said. And they did. And that was hard when you're living in New York. But somehow they managed to make it out alive. It took three nights of barricading themselves in apartment rooms, but they did it together.

They're masters of survival now. With Lexa's and Anya's history of hunting and learning survival skills with their dads, Costia's determination and positivity, and Indra’s physicality and loyalty, they had made it through everything. In the beginning, it was hard for Costia to grow accustomed to this life; it was hard for all of them, but Costia the most. But soon enough, she learned to step and hunt and fight like her friends.

Two-hundred and twenty-two days.. Two-hundred and twenty-two days is how long this had been going on. For a short time in the beginning, they stuck their ears to the radio they had found in hopes that there was news of a cure. None was announced. They were listening for a safe haven; military base that was still going strong; but all the ones they heard of were too far away to reach in time. After a few weeks, news of the military bases that were okay to go to were gone, and the girls figured they were taken over by the undead.

The four of them had grown quieter throughout the months. The optimism Costia held onto for a safe place to call home deflated like a popped balloon full of helium. They didn’t have much to talk about anymore either. When they did speak, it was about important things like food, or where to go next, or an update on weapon condition. With how important it was to listen to their surroundings, the girls had learned to communicate more with body language.

“Welcome to Emporia, Virginia, ladies.” Anya says.

Lexa comes back from the depths of her thoughts to see that they are no longer in the woods. She looks up to see the sun already halfway through its cycle. The day is already halfway over? In front of them is a small town. It was cute in its own way. Something a small town should really look like. As they walk through it, they pass a town hall, a court office, and a few shopping stores.

“You think it’s okay?” Costia asks.

They look down alleys and through store windows, but they don’t see any sign from the living or the dead.

They walk through the parking lot of a Walmart and down more small-town buildings.

“Look over there.” Indra says, pointing across the street. They turn to see what Indra is talking about. It's a police station.

They cautiously go into the building, listening for any unusual noises. After confirming it's safe, they start their loot for extra ammo and new guns. This is a routine they fell into quickly since the outbreak. Lexa had refused to use a gun throughout the months of survival. Lexa and guns just don't mix well and the other three adopted her mindset about guns as well, but they _did_ use them when they needed and though Lexa _did_ carry a pistol around with her, she hadn't yet used it. The other three girls each held their own pistols and combat knives as well. Lexa is strapped with the unused pistol, a sword, a Condor Parang machete, and a bowie knife, along with her father's old dagger and a few other well hidden blades. The dagger was the first thing she had put in her bug-out bag before they were forced out of their loft. Costia carries around her own bowie knife and crowbar, Indra holds a kora blade she had picked up from a half-eaten corpse early in the first month, and Anya swings a bolo machete and a bow they shared for hunting.

Ten minutes into the search, they come across empty shells and rat droppings and that's it.

“There’s nothing here.” Anya's deep voice says as she walks back to the entrance of the station. “We need to find food.”

Just after she says that, the door opens and a big brawly Corpse comes in.

“SHIT!” Anya exclaims, pulling her machete out of its holster. The Biter is too close, however, and she backs into something and trips, crying out painfully.

Costia pulls her pistol out and points her first bullet between its eyes, pulling the trigger. Once it's down, they run to Anya’s assistance. She's clutching onto her leg in pain.

"You shouldn't have shot it." Indra scolds Costia. "Too much noise. That was foolish."

 _"Indra, shof op."_ Lexa says. She looks down at the pained woman below her. “What’s wrong?? Were you scratched??”

“No, no I wasn't scratched.” Anya assures. “I tripped and fucking cut myself with my stupid machete. Gah.. Fuck it hurts so bad..”

“How the hell do you manage to stick yourself???”

“ _Dish joka don ona ai!_ I tripped and it just stuck me! Fuck you!”

Lexa pulls Anya's hand away to see a huge gash showing from her ripped jeans. She pulls her extra sweater from around her waist, rips the side of it off and wraps it securely around Anya's wound. They help her up and she leans on Indra for support.

“Are you okay to walk?” Lexa asks.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m.. I’m fine..”

They get out of the police department and meet horror. Costia's gun shot had caught the attention of the Biters they thought weren’t in the town. There are about fifteen of them on the street now.

“Oh shit..” Costia mutters.

One of the Biters look in their direction and start its way toward them. The Dead may walk at a slow pace and are easy to take down when there are only a couple, but when they're herded together, your life was absolutely in danger.

“This way!” Lexa yells to the girls. They run back the way they came, she and Indra supporting Anya as she limps as fast as she can.

Despite what Anya said about being fine, she was far from that. Her leg doesn’t stop bleeding and she finally collapses on the pavement in pain. Lexa and Indra try to help her back up, but she's too out of it from the blood loss to comply.

“Ju-just go.. Just go without me..” she mumbles.

“No!” Lexa shouts at her. “I am not leaving you here, Anya! Get up!!”

“Come on, Anya! We’re getting out of this!!” Costia cries, sweat coating her face already.

“I don’t think I can..” and then Anya loses consciousness.

“This is not how we’re going down!” Costia yells, facing the Biters who are closing the distance with her crowbar at the ready. She takes one down as easily as it used to be for her to put on mascara while she was driving. She doesn’t notice a Biter beside her, ready to take a chomp from her shoulder.

“Cos!” Lexa yells. She pulls her sword out from its back holster and charges for it, plunging the blade into its skull. They're swinging and smashing and working through the crowd, but it doesn’t seem to make much progress. They're quickly getting over taken.

“This is it, guys.” Lexa says. “We’re not gonna make it.”

Lexa turns around to drag Anya further away, when she was thrown to the ground roughly. She waits for the feeling of teeth to sink into her, but none comes. She flips over to see five other people taking the Biters down with Indra and Costia.

* * *

Clarke and Octavia are in the book aisle reading. Clarke is scanning through a magazine she had already read about twelve times. These were the nice days. Where she doesn’t need to go outside to scavenge for food or clear out the lot. These were the nice days where she can stay inside with her best friends and mother and read a magazine that she'd already memorized.

Octavia looks at the watch on her wrist before she grunts. “Dammit, we’re late. Let’s go check the plants.” They get up from their spots and make their way to the rooftop.

“Hey, O.” Raven is already up there when they arrive. “Late as always, I see?” She nudges Octavia.

“I was too into the book and lost track of time.” Octavia defends half-heartedly.

“That’s easy to do nowadays.” Raven says as they get to the farm.

The farm they had on the rooftop consists of tomatoes, sunflowers, strawberries, blueberries, and a couple of other vegetables. Bellamy pinned the job to take care of the farm they created on Octavia and it was usually Clarke's volunteered job to supervise when she wasn't out in another town nearby. In seven months, they managed to grow into a group of thirteen, find a safe and secure place and reinforce it.

When it all started, Clarke, Raven, and Octavia made it to the pier in time to meet up with Bellamy and they immediately set off south. In two months, they had made it all the way down almost two full states, but they pitched tent in a Walmart and Home Depot in this quiet town and hadn't had much to complain about since. The group fortified the places and created a connection to the two big stores so they could easily go from both places without being spotted by a Walker.

“How’s it going down there?” Luna asks in her usual spot on the roof.

“The usual. Bellamy is talking about the next trip.” Clarke tells her.

On the roof of the Walmart, they learned to grow their own little farm. It wasn't much, but it was something at least; the weather would soon cool down and they had to save as much as they could before then. On the roof of the Home Depot, there was a very large painted 'LIVING INSIDE' sign.

Octavia begins her plant care process and Clarke helps her with it. Octavia hates the her job. Bellamy forced it on her, saying he needed someone he trusted to make sure the plants didn't die so they could eat them but everyone who knew Bellamy knew he only did to keep Octavia safe and inside the walls. The sun is setting now and it casts a pretty glow to the town. Clarke tries to imagine what the place would have been like if it were still run by the living and not the dead. She tries to imagine the parking lot filled with people pushing carts of bags to their cars. She tries imagining the kids in the little arcade a couple of streets down; adults having a drink at the local bar, where the bartender probably knew all of their names and what their usual was. She tries to imagine a town police officer named Jim coming home to his wife and kids and telling them how much he loved them and talking about his day at work during dinner. She tries to imagine all of those things, but all she can see is sunken eyes and rotting flesh and blood and blood and _blood_.

_***BANG*** _

The sound of a gunshot brings Clarke back to her senses.

“Where was that?” Luna says, perking up attentively like a deer who just heard a hunter’s noisy step.

“It must have come from in town. It sounded like it was only a couple of blocks that way.” Raven points in the direction of he noise.

The group doesn’t take kind to the living as much as they did the dead. For all they knew, the living could be much worse than the Walkers themselves. They would try to steal your things, threaten to kill you, and try to overtake your shelter. The living was definitely _not_ to be trusted.

It stays quiet for a few minutes until the group on the rooftop can see four silhouettes hurriedly shuffling down the parking lot. The sun is too far gone to see them clearly. Two of the figures are holding someone up, but that person falls to the ground.

“No!” One of the figures shouts. “I am not leaving you here, Anya! Get up!!”

“Come on, Anya! We’re getting out of this!!” Another figure yells. Raven's ears perk up and from her peripheral vision, she can see Octavia cock her head in attention. That voice sounds way too familiar.

“This is not how we’re going down!” This time Clarke stiffens for a split second before looking at Raven and Octavia.

“Did that sound like Costia to you too??” Octavia asks.

“It did. It really did.” Clarke confirms.

“But it can’t be. She couldn’t have made it through New York.. And how could she be down _here_?” Raven says.

“Cos!” A voice from the parking lot yells. Clarke's eyes widen, as do Octavia's and Raven's.

“Oh my god..” Clarkes breaths. She turns to Luna. “Luna, make sure they do _not_ get hurt.” Clarke tells her. Luna nods and readies her sniper rifle at the parking lot. The three girls descend the ladder to the ground floor and sprint to the group inside.

“We have to get out there.” Clarke tells them.

“What? No. We’re not saving those people. You don’t know if they’re good or bad.” Murphy objects.

“We know that girl out there!” Raven says. “We know her. We need to help them!”

“You _knew_ her.” Bellamy says. “ She could have turned into a killer and a menace."

“We all turned into killers!!” Raven yells. “Open the fucking door!!”

“We are not risking our lives for someone you _think_ you know!”

“I’m going out there and I’m helping my friend.” Clarke growls, challenging Bellamy with her eyes before running to the front entrance.

She unlocks the bolts and leaves the safety of their Walmart and is about to close the door back up when Bellamy and Gustus join them outside.

“I can’t let my best scavenger come out here to die.” Bellamy says to Clarke before closing the door. They sprint to the four people in distress; they are easily outnumbered and ae being taken over. One of the girls turns her back on the Mob to get to the unconscious girl on the ground. In just a few seconds, a Walker is going to take her down. Clarke throws the girl to the ground before taking the Walker down with her hammer.

With the help of the three girls and the rest of Clarke's group, they drop the Mob without any casualties. When the nine of them are the only ones standing again, Clarke scans the faces of the new people in the darkness. The sun is completely gone now, so it's hard to see them.

“Costia?” Octavia is the first to find her.

“O-Octavia..?” The shock they're both in from finding each other in conditions that would make it absolutely impossible for that to happen keep them in frozen in their spots.

“Cos!” Raven is the first to take action to this miracle. She pulls Costia into a death tight hug.

“Oh my god, Raven!!!” Costia comes to her senses and squeezes the girl back. They pull away and Octavia is next for the hug. “O???”

Clarke runs to her and pulls her into a hug, tears threatening to fall.

“Oh my god! H-how????” Costia asks, pushing Clarke arms length away to get a better look at her.

“I could ask you the same!!”

“Anya,” a girl behind Clarke says. She turns to see the girl crouched over the unconscious one. They look familiar, but Clarke can't pin them. “Wake up, Anya. Come on..”

“We have to bring them in.” Raven says.

“No, not her.” Bellamy says, pointing at the unconscious girl named Anya.

“She was bit.”

“The hell she was!” The girl crouching over Anya yells, glaring intently at Bellamy. “She wasn’t bit!”

“She wasn’t bit.” Costia repeats. “She just has a really bad cut on her leg from falling.”

After a moment of thought, Bellamy nods stiffly and starts for the Walmart. The other new girl helps the shorter one in picking up Anya and they all get inside to safety.

***

Clarke and the others can’t believe Costia is alive. It's crazy how they just found each other in a completely different state in a small town. The odds of that were incredibly low, but yet here they are sitting in a group, Costia sitting between Octavia and Clarke with her fingers locked in both their hands. All but four people are sitting on the rooftop with them. Anya is still unconscious and lying in a makeshift medical bed; Abby is down there to make sure she's okay –and for emergency reasons- and the other two girls that were with Costia are down there. They refused to leave Anya’s side. Clarke guesses they're worried and don’t trust the larger group with their fellow companion.

“So what brought you down here?” Finn asks from across the circle.

“I guess the same reason you are all down here.” Costia says. “We’ve been going south to get away from big cities.”

“What did you guys do before all of this?” Luna asks.

“We all went to school. I was majoring in culinary arts. Indra was a physical therapist. Anya, the girl with the cut on her leg down there, she was majoring in Business. And Lex-"

A throat being cleared behind them stops Costia mid sentence. She turns to see Lexa standing behind her. She hadn't heard the girl come up, but it doesn't surprise her. Lexa had a tendency to be ghost-like even before the world ended. She bends down and whispers into Costia's ear. Costia stands up, joining Lexa.

“I’m sorry, but our friend just woke up. I need to check on her.” They're leaving now and Clarke stands up to follow them.

On the ground floor in the pharmacy office where they set up their medical room, a small group stands over Anya, who is conscious again.

“What happened?” She asks them.

“Well, your dumbass stabbed yourself and then passed out when we were surrounded by Biters.” Costia says as she strokes Anya's sweat covered forehead.

“We were all going to die, but we were saved.” Indra says.

A small smile of relief forms on Lexa's mouth as she can’t take her eyes off of Anya. “I thought we lost you.” She says, grabbing Anya’s forearm as Anya does the same to Lexa.

“I don’t give up that easily, Commander.” Anya says.

Lexa snorts shortly. “Oh really? Because you didn’t seem like it outside. How are you feeling?”

“Like a dumbass for stabbing myself, just like Cos said.” Anya chuckles. She tries to shift her position, but winces from her leg.

"You needed stitches, but you'll heal with minimal scarring." Abby says from the other side of Anya.

“You should rest for a few days before you start walking around.” Clarke tells her.

Lexa turns around to face Clarke. “I have not thanked you for coming out and helping us back there.” She says, nodding her head once in acknowledgement.

Clarke nods back at her. “If it weren’t for recognizing Costia’s voice, we wouldn’t have." She reaches her hand out to Lexa. "Clarke.”

"Lexa." Lexa looks down at Clarke's hand, hesitating before taking her hand into a shake. “Clarke?” she repeats. “The name sounds familiar..”

“That’s because I talked about her all the time to you, Lex. And you met her once, remember?” Costia says.

"You're the one Costia kept trying to hook me up with. I remember you now." Clarke says.

Lexa seems to remember. “You’re the one that kept turning it down.”

Clarke can feel the heat rush to her cheeks.

“Look at her! I haven’t seen you blush in so long, Clarke!” Octavia says. Clarke throws a warning look at her friend.

“I went to one of your parties once, right?” Clarke asks, clearing her throat uncomfortably.

“You did. But I have to admit, I don't exactly remember much of that night.” Lexa says, a hint of an awkward smile showing up.

Clarke takes a full look at her finally. She's beautiful, despite the dirt and grime all over her. She stands tall with her shoulders back and her back straight. She holds herself with a godly aura, as though she's royalty. Her half curly half wavy hair is loose with braids played out behind her. Her green eyes are like none Clarke has seen before; the color of the woods Lexa and the rest of her group had so obviously been in for a while. She is wearing dark, dirt and blood stained ripped jeans, a ripped button up shirt is wrapped around her waist and she has on a worn out, equally stained and equally ripped black short sleeved shirt, showing off her very toned arms and a tribal tattoo design wrapped around her upper right arm. The entire attire looks as though she’s had it on for weeks, much like the other girls. She's decorated in blades of different sizes; a sword of some sort and a machete both strapped to her back, a large knife holstered on her right thigh, another slightly smaller knife attached to the left side of her hip and a pistol on the right side. It wouldn't have surprised Clarke one bit if the girl had more knives somewhere on her person. Her face and arms are covered with dirt and scratches - old and new alike - but not the bad kind of scratches, just the surviving-in-the-wild-scratched-by-branches-and-other-shit kind of scratches.

“You guys seem to have gone through a lot today.” Bellamy says from behind them. “We can all chat about the situation tomorrow.”

The girls nods.

“But as precaution,” Bellamy starts again. “We’re going to ask to hold onto your weapons.”

“No.” Lexa says without hesitation.

“I’m sorry, but I guess you took that as an option.” Murphy says beside Bellamy. “If you don’t like it, you can go back out there.”

“Lexa..” Costia mumbles. “We can’t leave with Anya like this.. Come on, just listen to him.”

Lexa stares up at Bellamy with a fierce and challenging look before she turns her head to the side to speak to the girls behind her. _"God op."_   She says. Clarke lifts an eyebrow in curiosity for whatever Lexa had just said.

“They won’t do anything with them, I promise. We do this with all newcomers. Just in case, you know?” Clarke says, speaking in the most reassuring voice she can.

Lexa doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t move one inch. She only stares at the two guys with a firm expression. The look on her face makes Clarke uneasy. Finally, she pulls her pistol out of its pouch and sets it on the table before pulling her sword and machete out as well. The other two girls follow in her pursuit. If Anya calling Lexa 'Commander' wasn't enough proof that Lexa seemed to be their leader, this moment sure is for Clarke. It takes Lexa longer to get rid of her blades than it does with Costia and Indra. Clarke was right in thinking she'd have more things hidden on her. All that is left on her now is the large knife on her hip.

“That too, lady.” Murphy spits. Clarke rolls her eyes at his attitude. He was always such a dick.

Lexa's hand hesitates over the weapon. Anya pats Lexa’s leg and Lexa finally, very reluctantly, pulls it out and places it with everything else. Murphy smirks as he walks over and takes everything from the table sloppily before leaving the room.

“Thank you for your cooperation, ladies.” Bellamy nods, smiling nicely.

“When do we get them back?” Lexa asks, back straightening even more than Clarke thought was possible.

“You’ll get them back, don’t worry.” Bellamy says. “Go ahead and rest for the night. It’s about time we called it a night anyway. You four will be staying in here tonight. Come on, guys.” He says to Clarke, Octavia, Raven, and Abby.

Costia hugs the friends she thought were dead goodnight before they leave with the others.

* * *

 _“Disha nou ste radon.”_ Lexa groans. She had finally quit pacing the small room and dropped to the floor. She's absolutely annoyed that they had locked them in this pharmacy room like caged animals. She doesn’t even want to think about how they took away their weapons. They took away her dagger. Her father's dagger. She never let it out of her sight, and they took it just like that and expected her to be okay?

 _“Chil au, Aleksandria."_ Costia grunts in her bed. Lexa glares blindly in her direction for using her full name. _“Hod yo chichnes op en hit yo bag op! Ai trana rid ai op!"_

Indra is soundly asleep already. She's even snoring lightly. This is the first time in weeks that they haven’t needed anyone to stay on guard during the night. It is the first night in a long time where they have a roof over their heads and Lexa still can’t get to sleep. She feels like she never truly sleeps anymore. She might get about three hours of sleep every other night.

She sits against the wall with her knees pulled in a little like she does when on guard for a little more than what felt like an hour before she finally starts drifting off.

She doesn’t get to fully drift off before she hears groans and grumbles coming from the other side of the room. It's coming from Anya’s direction. Lexa's heart drops. The moans are weirdly gurgled. She lifts to her feet quietly and grabs something for defense.

She's standing over Anya’s bed trying to focus on her silhouette in the pitch black of the room. Anya is shifting around in the bed and still groaning.

“Anya..?” Lexa whispers. She doesn’t say anything and Lexa's heart races. “An, please say something…” She can feel the panic in her chest and a ball in her throat, making it difficult to swallow.

“Anya..” She pokes Anya's arm lightly with the shoe. She moves even more now.

“Fuck, man.. It hurts like hell.”

Lexa lets out a sigh of relief. “God, An.. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry, was I making noises?” She asks.

“Yeah. You sounded like you turned. I was about ready to beat your face in with Costia’s shoe.”

“Can you?” She asks. “At least until I’m unconscious? I keep waking up from this pain...”

“Let me see if this place has anything to help with that.” Lexa says, pulling out a flashlight from her backpack.

***

“Morning, cupcakes.”  Murphy is the one to unlock the cage Lexa and her girls are in in the morning. “Breakfast is on the roof.”

Anya refuses to stay in the room any longer, so they find crutches hidden in the corner and she swings her way around the place. It's much more difficult when she tries to climb the ladder, but it isn’t impossible. On the roof, they find everyone else digging into their food.

It isn’t much. A few people have canned fruits, some have bowls of cereal and others have granola bars. There is an older looking lady passing out food, so the girls make their way to her.

“Hi, I'm Linda.” She says when she sees them. She has a sweet voice and a lovely smile. Lexa allows herself to smile slightly before her lips form a straight line again. She _had_ been raised with manners after all.

Linda smiles more widely and hands them their food. “There you go, dears. Welcome to the group."

Clarke waves them over to her and Raven and Abby and they sit down with them.

“How’s your leg?” Abby asks Anya.

“It hurts like hell.. But at least I’m alive. Thank you again, Abby.” Anya says.

"Of course, sweetie." Abby smiles to Anya.

“You almost weren’t going to be anymore last night." Lexa mumbles.

“What happened last night?” Indra asks.

“Anya was making weird noises last night. I thought she had turned in her sleep and was going to cave her head in.”

“With a shoe?” Anya bumps Lexa with her shoulder.

“What else was I supposed to use when we were left without anything to defend ourselves?” Lexa grumbles.

“Now I’m grateful that they took our stuff, otherwise I’d have your dagger in my head right now.” Anya mumbles back.

“You don’t look so good, Lexa.” Abby says. Lexa looks up at her and Abby looks concerned.

“I am fine.” Lexa assures, looking down at her snack sized box of cereal.

“She always looks like that.” Costia says. “She doesn’t sleep.” Lexa shoots her a glare but she's ignored. “I was having a hard time trying to sleep last night because she kept pacing around like a crazy person.”

There isn’t much to say to defend herself, so Lexa just leaves it alone and shovels spoonful after spoonful of Frosted Flakes into her mouth.

“The milk went bad before we even got here, so I hope you like dry cereal.” Clarke says.

“Food is food.” Indra says for the four of them. They're all too busy inhaling their food to speak after that.

“I see that..” Clarke says, surprised at how fast they're eating.

Costia stops eating to explain. “We haven’t really had much food for last few weeks.”

“When we'd come across a grocery store or gas station, it was already dry. We would only be able to grab an occasional bag of chips or box of candy.” Lexa explains.

“We placed rabbit traps and stuff around the woods every single night and we never caught anything.” Costia adds.

“We did catch things, Costia.” Lexa defends, scolding Costia with her eyes. Costia doesn't care.

“But Biters ate them before we got to.”

"But we caught stuff when we were hunting, did we not?" Indra grumbles.

"Not recently." Costia says back.

“I guess the empty gas stations are our fault.” Clarke says. “Me, Raven, Miller and Anthony go out and scavenge for food and other supplies from nearby towns and gas stations and load up on everything there is every now and then. We have a good amount of food here because of that. When we first found this place, it was already looted and a lot of the food was gone. “

“So you’re the reason we were starving to death.” Lexa states. Costia nudges her shoulder roughly with a look that says 'ease off, Lexa', but Lexa ignores it. They were dying of hunger because these people took everything for themselves and were happily living in this fort.

“Well when you put it like that..” Clarke drifts off. Lexa can see the guilt in her eyes as she looks away from the four of them.

“So what happened?” Raven asks.

“What do you mean?” Costia asks.

“We waited at the pier for even longer than an hour, but you never came.”

“There was no way we could make it in time.” Anya says. A blonde girl joins them as Anya starts the story. “We were stuck on the roof of our loft all day. The entire place was full of chaos and we couldn’t go down without risking our lives.”

“I thought you had died. We all did.” Clarke says. “I just can’t believe you’re sitting right in front of me right now, Cos. After all this time.”

“It’s crazy, right?” Costia adds. “How things work.”

“Hi, I’m Luna.” The girl that sat down beside Raven says. Anya stiffens beside Lexa and Lexa looks at her friend. Anya has an awestruck look to her. Lexa knows that look very well, but she hasn’t seen it in a long time. She smirks at her before turning back to her food.

“I’m Costia.” Costia says to the newcomer.

Luna looks to Lexa for an introduction next. "Lexa." She says shortly, barely bothering to look up from her breakfast.

"Indra."

“I’m Anya.” Anya sticks her hand out to shake Luna’s hand. Luna grabs it to shake back, but Anya has other plans. She pulls their hands to her face and she kisses Luna’s. Luna looks taken aback as ever when Anya drops her hand. She gives a charming smile that makes Lexa want to barf.

“You’re the one with the busted leg right?” Luna asks. Anya merely pulls her pants leg up to show a bandage wrapped around it. "Never met anyone who’s stabbed themselves with their own weapon yet. Congrats.”

Anya’s face falls in embarrassment and Lexa can’t fight back her cough of laughter. It's hoarse and unsteady as though she hadn't laughed in a long time. She hadn't.

* * *

Most of the rest of breakfast is eaten in silence. Clarke watches Lexa's stiff movements as she moves cereal out of the box and into her mouth. She watches Lexa's sharp jaw move as she chews her food and her hard eyes looking at her surroundings. She seems like a wild animal observing her prey or looking for the best way to escape if things went south. She's alluring to say the least and Clarke can't help but be drawn by the mysterious girl.

"Cute, huh?" Costia's low voice brings Clarke's attention back to her surroundings. She jumps in alarm and looks back down at her bowl of oatmeal.

“Excuse me?” Clarke says, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that she just got caught watching the newcomer.

"Lexa." Costia says quietly so only Clarke can hear. "I told you she was cute, didn't I?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Cos." Clarke says defensively.

"So when do we get our things back?" Lexa says, eyes still on her box of cereal. She looks up at Clarke for a response and her eyes pierce through the blonde's.

“In a few days or so, it’ll be decided whether they trust you or not and if it’s a yes, you'll get your stuff back.” Clarke says.

“Decided by who?” Indra asks.

“Well Bellamy and Clarke are the leaders.” Luna says. “But a few more people help to make the choices, like Abby and Finn and Gustus and Murphy. Those are the people you gotta impress.”

“So I must cozy up to you to get my blades back?” Lexa asks Clarke at an attempt at teasing.

Clarke laughs lightly. “Sorry, not interested. Plus, I’m not the one you’ve gotta cozy up to for that.” She points to Bellamy. “Bell has just as much say as I do.”

“Good luck with that.” Raven says. “He doesn't pay attention to anything but his little sis and his self-appointed leadership.”

“You could say the same for Clarke too." Octavia says as she joins the group now.

"I have to take care of my people." Clarke shrugs.

“Are you guys going to stay with us or are you going to head your own way again when you get your stuff?” Luna asks.

“You’re staying obviously.” Octavia says, matter-of-factly.

“Uh..” Costia stutters, looking at Lexa, Anya, and Indra for an answer. They give no response. “We’re not sure.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Raven asks. “We have a safe place for you to sleep, food for you to eat, a good system going. I’m here. Octavia and Clarke are here.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to.” Costia says, hesitantly looking toward the girls from her group. “It depends on what my girls want too. Where one goes, the others follow. We’re a team. We’ve been through everything together and I can’t stay here if they don’t want to.”

Clarke looks at the other three for an answer. Lexa is the one to speak, and when she does, she stares straight at Clarke with an unreadable expression. “Just like how you guys need to make sure we’re trustworthy for our weapons, we need to make sure your group is the best place for us to stay.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Indra mumbles through a guarded look.

“Okay, so this is your first full day in Wall-Depot.” Bellamy says as he comes over to their circle, leaving their conversation at that. “Let’s give you a tour around and show you how things are. But first, you girls look like absolute shit, no offense. Clarke, show them where they can clean themselves up at. Then we’ll show you around.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng translations (some of these are probably incorrect, but I tried to put two and two together for some of these)  
> "Jok!!" - Fuck!!  
> "Nou get yu daun, Leksa" - Don't worry, Lexa/Don't let it get you down, Lexa  
> "Moda" - I'm sorry  
> "Ai jos.. ste pis.. en enti..." - I'm just.. mad.. and hungry...  
> "Indra, shof op." - Indra, shut up/be quiet  
> “Dish joka don ona ai!" - This fucker was on (top of) me!  
> "God op." - Guard up  
> “Disha nou ste radon." - This is not right  
> “Chil au, Aleksandria." - Calm down, Alexandria  
> “Hod yo chichnes op en hit yo bag op! Ai trana rid ai op!" - Stop talking and go to bed! I'm trying to sleep!


	5. Roanoke Rapids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have a phone still? The world as we know it is gone and you carry around a phone like it’s a normal thing?”
> 
> She merely shrugged. “I need my music. It keeps me sane. If I didn’t have it, I’d probably be like you.”
> 
> Lexa didn't respond. Becoming like her would be best for their survival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short chapter for you guys. Sorry I know. I've had the worst migraine for almost a week already and I was working on the first chapter of this new story I wanted to start too.

It has been a few days since Lexa's group first joined Clarke's group. They haven’t decided whether they're going to stay or not yet. It seemed like a pretty decent place, but the fact that they still haven’t gotten their weapons back shows that the larger group still doesn’t trust them, meaning Lexa's group doesn’t trust them. Especially Murphy. He was such a dick to them, but he seemed to be that way to everyone. Lexa didn’t appreciate it whatsoever. She guesses it's a good thing they don’t have their stuff back yet, because if she had her sword when he spoke to her like that, he would have already had it down his throat by now.

The rest of her small group very much appreciated the lack of need to go out in the open for Biters to see them. Lexa, on the other hand, needed something to do and it was driving her crazy. With the sleep that she never got, she needed something to throw her mind into. She needed to go out. She needed to.

“You four ready then?” Bellamy asks. Clarke, Raven, and two guys Lexa had learned to be named Nathan and Bryan are packed and ready for something which draws Lexa's attention.

By this time, the new group had learned everyone's names. The old lady named Linda is the one in charge of rationing the foods and keeping track of what they’ve got. Every morning and every night, she counts it all up to make sure someone didn’t take anything. Abby is the doctor who fixed up Anya's leg, she'd been a surgeon before all of this. There's a Latina named Melissa, but she goes by Malibu and she helps to do a lot of the labor work with the guys.

Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin are the leaders. Finn Collins is somewhat of a peacemaker it seemed, and Lexa catches sight of him whispering democratically into Clarke's ear a lot. John Murphy, on the other hand, is the worst out of them all. The only person who seemed to actually like him was Bellamy, which isn't a surprise as Bellamy is a tuned down version of him; a self-serving jackass with barely redeeming qualities and decisions. Murphy follows him around most of the time, throwing side remarks at everyone to do their job and whatnot. Nathan Miller and his boyfriend Bryan have the job of accompanying Jessica and Raven in their runs through the other towns for food and whatever else they could find that they might need later on. Gustus is an ex-Marine and a big part of the so-called counsel in the group. Luna is the best shot out of everyone other than Gustus it seems. She is the sniper of the group. If they ever needed to take out a lot of Biters, they’ll send her to the roof of some building and she’ll take them down easily. She and Anya have been spending a lot of time together too. Lexa's gaydar had gone off on her like a metal detector in a junk yard so she wasn't surprised. It was never hard for Anya for swoon a lady. Octavia Blake is Bellamy's younger sister, and though she wanted to join Raven and Clarke on their runs, her brother didn't let her and she was stuck working on the plants on the rooftop.

“Ready as can be.” Clarke says, checking her gear once more to make sure every was there. Clarke was a sight to see, Lexa admitted that to herself. She'd even use sexy or breathtaking to describe her. She's wearing dark skinny jeans and a grey elbow length shirt. She carries around a hammer that she reinforced to make the handle longer and her hair is loose except for a bit of the front that she pulled together to join in the back so it wouldn't get in her face. Her eyes are as blue as the sky and Lexa has to focus hard to not get lost in them when she spoke to her, which wasn't much. In the time she had been there, Lexa had watched Clarke act as leader far better than her partner Bellamy had.

“Alright, you know what to do. Get in there and get what we need. If it’s too dangerous, don’t risk it.” Bellamy says.

Clarke nods and she, Raven, and the boys starts for the front of the building. Lexa hesitates for only a second before grabbing her leather vest from beside her and deciding to catch up with them.

“Hold on!" Lexa calls to them. Clarke turns around and meets Lexa's eyes with eyebrows raised.

“What do you want?”

“I want to come with you.” Lexa says, chin held high and voice set. Clarke doesn’t say anything for a few beats as she scans the taller girl's face.

“Why?” She asks.

“Does one need a reason to join?” Lexa counters with an eyebrow raised.

"For this, yes. You're too new here. Not happening." Clarke turns back around to leave, but Lexa grabs her wrist and turns her back around.

“Please." Lexa says stiffly, eyes burning into Clarke's. "I can’t stay in here. I need to get out.” Clarke studies her face intently, giving the idea some thought.

“It could take a couple of days.” She says.

Lexa nods once.

Clarke continues to study her before nodding. “Bellamy, I’m taking Lexa with us.”

Bellamy comes over and pulls Clarke aside. They speak in hushed tones for a few minutes. Lexa looks back at her small group. Costia smiles in approval. She, Anya and Indra knew of Lexa's agitation of being there. They knew she wanted to do something for her own survival. She didn’t like to have to rely on these people she didn’t know.

“Okay.” Bellamy says when they come back. “You can go.” Lexa nods her firm single nod again.

“I’m coming with.” Murphy says, walking up behind them.

Lexa frowns at the sight of him but stays silent. They once again turn around to leave, but Lexa doesn’t move. “Am I not getting a weapon?”

Murphy smiles sarcastically and leaves for the Home Depot connection where Lexa's and the other three's things are locked up. He comes back a couple of minutes later with her dagger and its holster. Lexa reaches for it but he pulls away.

“Who said it was for you?” He asks with a smirk before he hooks the holster to his pants and places the dagger inside of it.

Lexa's blood boils and she imagines sticking the dagger in his smug little face to calm her down.

They leave after that. Raven hotwires a car in the parking lot and she, Clarke and Lexa take off in that one, while Murphy, Miller and Bryan take another one. Clarke pulls her phone out of her pocket and hooks it up to the car before playing a song.

“Really?” Lexa asks, looking at the useless device.

“What?”

“You have a phone still? The world as we know it is gone and you carry around a phone like it’s a normal thing?”

She merely shrugs. “I need my music. It keeps me sane. If I didn’t have it, I’d probably be like you.”

Lexa doesn't respond. Becoming like her would be best for their survival.

***

After an hour and a half of maneuvering through the car junk yard that was once called I-95 and past towns that Clarke had said they already emptied out, they finally make it to a place called Roanoke Rapids in North Carolina.

They park the car in the middle of the town and get out. The moment they look around, they catch sight of about five Biters. It isn’t a big deal though, as they easily take them out. Seeing Murphy using her father's dagger really infuriates Lexa, but she refrains from anything she'd regret.

“Okay, so each group has a walkie talkie, right?” Clarke asks. They nod. “Only use it in case of emergency. And make sure it’s as quiet as possible. We’ll meet back at the cars in three hours so we can find a place to stay if we need to. This is a pretty big town, so be on guard. The bigger the place, the more Walkers there are.”

They split up from the three guys and make their way through the town, past empty houses. Lexa feels so relieved to be out in the sun. She doesn’t feel as relieved as she wanted though, since she still doesn’t have anything to defend herself with.

“So what happens if you get attacked?” Lexa asks as they search the streets. “I’m going to be stuck without a weapon and I’ll end up just like you. Dead.”

“Sucks for you I guess.” Clarke grumbles.

“And if you were being attacked in the first place, how am I supposed to save you without anything?” Lexa adds. “You need someone who has your back. But I cannot do that without a knife.”

“I won’t need help in the first place.”

“No?”

“No. Now shut up and keep your eyes and ears open for anything.”

Lexa doesn’t say anything after that. After about the fifth house they went through, their first bag is only half full.

“Clarke? Can you hear me?” The walkie talkie sounds.

“I can hear you, Miller.” Clarke replies.

“Did you know that the power is working in this town?”

“What? How can it be?” She asks, flipping the light on in the house they're in.

“No clue. Maybe they have their own personal power plant or something?”

“What about the water?” She asks.

“Don’t know. I didn’t check it.”

Raven turns the nob on the kitchen sink and to their surprise, water jets out. Raven can’t hold in her laughter as she dips her head under it to feel the not-so-cold-not-so-hot water in her hair.

“Dear god, the water works..” Clarke murmurs into the talkie before running over and pouring water into her hands to drink.

“We should just move down to this place.” Lexa says as she watches the two girls in front of her squealing over the sink.

 _"We?”_ Clarke repeats, an eyebrow raised as water drips from her chin. “So does that mean we finally have an answer?”

“I could have been saying me, Costia, Indra and Anya.”

“What’s up with that anyway?” Clarke rolls her eyes before opening drawers in the kitchen and dropping their contents into her bag. Raven walks out of the kitchen and down the hallway into a different room to search for more.

“What’s up with what?” Lexa asks.

“So are you staying with us or not?”

“What does it matter?” She asks. “Going to miss me if I leave?” She barely smirks.

“I’m going to miss Costia if you leave.” Clarke says. “She’s not going to stay if you don’t.”

Lexa doesn't reply back, but instead walks to what she guesses is the kitchen cabinet door and opens it. Once she swings it open, a Biter comes lunging out and throws her to the floor.

Lexa cries out, feeling its teeth clamp onto her shoulder.


	6. Love is Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You lost someone." Lexa said, breaking the silence.
> 
> Clarke was taken back. She looked back at Lexa, who was still looking ahead of her.
> 
> "I can see it from the way you interact with your mother and when you're alone. You lost someone during this. Your father?"

Lexa cries out and Clarke turns around to see her on the floor with a Biter’s teeth sunk into her shoulder. Clarke is on the both of them in no time and easily enough, the creature is motionless on the tile. She drops to her knees in front of Lexa, heart racing.

“Oh my god, Lexa. Oh my god!”

“Shit it hurts..” Lexa groans, grabbing her shoulder.

Clarke's hands are shaking hard as she reaches for Lexa's shoulder to get a good look. Blood coats the vest Lexa wears, making it hard to see the wound.

Lexa grabs Clarke's shaking hands and clasps them together. “It is okay, Clarke.”

“No, it’s not okay! You’ve been bit! You’re going to turn into one of them!”

“Are you really that worried about me?”

Words stick in Clarke's throat as she tries to find something to say back. _How can she be so calm about this???_

“We have to get you some help, oh my god...” Clarke finally says as she tries to pull away and grab her walkie talkie, but Lexa doesn’t let go of her hands.

“Clarke.” She says. Clarke looks into her eyes. Where she would have seen fear and sadness and defeat from anyone else, Lexa's deep green eyes are instead filled with calm and comfort. “I am fine.”

Clarke is confused out of her mind. “What do you mean you’re fine?? You just got bit!"

"I did, but I didn't." Lexa says calmly. She wipes at her vest, smearing the blood onto her hand, but cleaning her vest to show it completely intact.

“It is thick leather, Clarke.” Lexa says, watching Clarke's expression turn from panic to a blank one. "This has actually happened before, but it wasn’t as hard as this one..”

“Th-then why is there so much blood??” Clarke asks.

“Well, you did just stab it in the head. And it was already bleeding from its mouth in the first place.”

“So you’re really okay..?”

“I promise I am okay, Clarke. Now stop shaking so much. I’m starting to think you were actually worried about me.” Lexa gives Clarke a small smirk as one of her eyebrows quirk up.

"What's going on over here???" Raven runs through the entrance of the kitchen and finds the girls on the ground. Lexa is still holding onto Clarke's hands with one of hers to steady her shaking ones. Clarke pulls away again and this time Lexa lets go. Clarke stands up and helps Lexa to her feet.

"Close call, but everything's fine. Be more careful next time.” Clarke mumbles with an uninterested tone to Lexa.

“I wouldn’t have been almost Biter food if I had something to defend myself with.” She shoots back.

Clarke hesitates for a moment before she pulls her combat knife out of its holster and hands it to Lexa.

They leave the house and raid a few more houses. Halfway through it, Raven decides it would be quicker to split up. "You'll be fine, right?" She asks Clarke before she turns a different direction.

Lexa and Clarke end up in a larger area of the town. It holds a Target, a few restaurants, Books A Million, and a café.

“What I wouldn’t give for hot cup of coffee..” Clarke mumbles more to herself than anything.

Lexa looks at the café for a moment before coming up with an idea. “Let’s go.” Lexa says as she starts towards the café.

“Lexa!” Clarke whispers loudly. She ignores she blonde and Clarke has to follow her as she sneaks past Walkers left and right. They aren’t anywhere near the girls, but there are too many for the two of them to take on together, so it's a lot smarter to sneak past them.

When they get inside, Lexa locks the door shut and closes the blinds.

“Are you about to kil-"

Lexa puts her hand up to silence Clarke. She whistles loudly and they stand in silence for a moment. And then a Biter is seen. It lifts itself from behind the counter wearing a café apron and starts toward them. Lexa points at it and Clarke goes in for the kill. Lexa checks the rest of the small room but there are none left.

“Smart.” Clarke admits.

Lexa doesn't say anything back, but instead walks behind the counter. Clarke sits down on a stool in front of the counter.

“How do you take your coffee, Clarke?” Lexa asks as she works with her back toward the girl in front of the counter.

“Black.” She answers, leaning her head onto her hand as she watches Lexa make a more complicated drink than just coffee. "You seem to know what you're doing."

The corner of Lexa's lips turn upward, but Clarke can't see it. “I worked in a café for a couple of years when I was in high school." She says simply. She finishes the coffee and the other drink and hands one cup to Clarke. “How is it?”

Clarke takes a sip and the scorching drink fills her body with happiness. She lets out a sigh and smiles. Lexa takes notice in the way her shoulders slump in relaxation. Just one sip and she forgets about the world they are in now. When Clarke opens her eyes to see the blood stained face of Lexa, however, she is brought back to her senses. But the light feeling has yet to go away. “It’s perfect.”

Lexa fights back a smile and she reaches her hand out toward Clarke. “Give me your phone.” Clarke eyes her suspiciously but sets the device in her palm. Lexa crouches down out of Clarke's sight and a few seconds later, music is heard quietly coming from the speakers of the store. She stands back up and walks around the counter and sits down in the stool beside Clarke.

The two are silent for a while as they drink their hot caffeinated beverages and listen to the music. Clarke grows restless under the silence of the girl beside her, who seems like a foreign creature as she sits with her back straighter than an arrow.

"You lost someone." Lexa says, breaking the silence.

Clarke is taken aback. She looks back at Lexa, who is still looking ahead of her.

"I can see it from the way you interact with your mother and when you're alone. You lost someone during this. Your father?"

"I...” Clarke tries to say something but trails off. Maybe she isn't as good at hiding as she thought.

Lexa nods her head slowly at the confirmation. "I lost someone in this too. We all did." She starts. "Her name was Nani. We met her while we were staying with another small group who didn't survive. She joined us into a larger group, who didn't like the way we ran things. Or the way _I_ ran things. Because she was ours, they assaulted her.. raped her.. killed her. A sixteen year old girl."

Clarke's stomach drops at the story Lexa is sharing. "I'm sorry..." And she truly is.

"I thought I could get over the pain with revenge." Lexa says, her eyes focused on the wall in front her as her mind runs wild with the memory. All of the blood.. All of the rage.. Her arms swinging her sword and machete down into every single one of those men. The slick feeling of blood soaking her arms and shirt and face. The look she received from her friends. "But I learned of another way to do it."

"How?" There's a knot in Clarke's throat and she tries to swallow it down.

"By recognizing it for what it is." Lexa say.s Clarke looks at the girl who finally turns to face her as well. Her forest green eyes penetrate Clarke's blues, telling the story in a more intimate way. "Weakness."

"What is?" Clarke asks. "Love?" Lexa nods and turns back to her drink. "So you just stopped caring? About everyone?"

Lexa takes a sip of her drink. "I care for those I had grown to care for before. Costia. Anya. Indra even. But that is it. Love is worn out. They are loyal and trustworthy. I only need care for them."

Clarke shakes her head. "I could never do that."

"Then you put the people you care about in danger. And the pain will never go away." Lexa looks back at her and Clarke meets her eyes once more. "The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry." Lexa's gaze is unreadable as she finishes her drink and sets the cup back down on the counter. "Unless the dead aren't gone. Then that was your first mistake."

Just then, the walkie talkie sounds, breaking the intense atmosphere. “Clarke, where are you?”

“Oh shit, I forgot. We’ve gotta meet back up with the guys and find a place to sleep.” Clarke says. She holds the talk button as she speaks again. “Lost track of time. We’ll be there in ten.” She puts the walkie talkie back on her pants waistband and looks to Lexa. "We've got to meet up with Raven. Let's go."

Clarke drinks the rest of her coffee before leaning forward and setting the cup in the sink. She looks back at Lexa who pulls out the knife Clarke gave her earlier, staring right at her. She comes to Clarke, knife raised. Lexa pushes Clarke aside and lunges past her. Clarke watches as Lexa pierces the forehead of and other worker who seems to have just come out of the back room.

“There.” Lexa says, looking at Clarke with a piercing look. “Now we are even.”

***

They found a nice place to stay the night; cooped up on the second floor of a nice little house. Well, it was more like Clarke and the others found it, since Murphy didn’t let Lexa do anything to help. In fact, he didn’t let her go in and clear the house out either. She was stuck outside as Biter bait while they did the important stuff. Lexa was ready to tell him to shove it up his ass, but Clarke gave her this look that kept her quiet. There was something about Clarke that really interested Lexa and she didn't like to admit it, even to herself. But today, she opened up and told her more than she had planned to. She hadn’t spoken of that stuff at all to anyone else. She and the girls don’t even talk about it. They leave the past in the past and prefer to never ever mention what happened. They never really talked about Nani; they try to avoid talk of her as much as possible.

It wasn’t like Lexa at all to freely speak of it, but there she was letting it out like word vomit to Clarke for no reason.

The sun is going down, so while they're all in one room counting all that they got from the houses, Lexa climbs through the window of another room and onto the rooftop balcony to watch the sunset. She did this as much as she could. The sight of all the colors meshed together like someone adding multiple slushy flavors together in a clear cup was a great time for her to think about the things she refused to think of throughout the day. It was also a great time to just feel at peace.

The door to the room opens when the sun is almost completely down. “Fuck, where is she?? Did she sneak out??” Murphy's angry and panicked voice is heard from outside on the roof. Lexa rolls her eyes. “She probably took a fucking car too!”

“Shut up, Murphy.” Raven says.

“Lexa?” Clarke says. She knows Lexa wouldn’t just leave like that. Or at least she hoped she wouldn't. Not after she opened up to her just a few hours before.

“Out here.” Lexa says, keeping her eyes fixed on the last bit of color in the sky. Clarke peeks her head out of the window at her.

“What’re you doing out here?” She asks.

Lexa shakes her head slightly and looks at her. Clarke is giving her the same look she noticed her giving her about ten times in the time lapse of the day. A curious look that tries (and fails) to pull Lexa's layers apart so she can understand her. She climbs back into the room.

“Alright, we’re calling it a night now. Don’t turn any lights on. Don’t make too much noise. Don’t do anything stupid.” Murphy says. He looks down at Lexa. “You’re staying in my room tonight. I don’t trust you anywhere else.”

“I wouldn't count on it.” She says, not even bothering to look at him. There's no way in hell that she is going to stay stuck in a room with that man.

“That’s not necessary, Murphy.” Clarke says. “I was with her all day and I trust her. She saved me from being Walker meat.”

“You gave her a weapon??” Murphy only lets the bad part through his ears. Of course.

“I gave her a knife after she was attacked. She was almost one of them and it wouldn’t have happened if you gave her her fucking knife.”

Lexa smiles internally at how Clarke is defending her so easily.

They glare at each other for a few awkward moments while Raven, Nathan and Bryan look at each other with the same uncomfortable looks.

“Fine.” Murphy says. “You can keep an eye on her. If she does anything, it’s all on you.” And then he walks out with the other two guys.

Raven, Clarke, and Lexa are standing there in silence for a bit before Raven says her goodnights and sets off for her own room, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone. Clarke checks the bed that is in the bedroom to make sure it's safe to sleep on.

“I call the bed.” She says, plopping down on it.

Lexa doesn’t argue. She lays out a sleeping bag right beside the bed and lays down on it. The room is almost completely black except for the little bit of light from the moon shining in. They're quiet for an hour and Lexa figures Clarke is asleep.

“So you’ve killed someone before.” Clarke suddenly says, proving Lexa wrong.

“I have.” She doesn’t say anything after that and Lexa shifts in the sheets worriedly. “Does that scare you?”

“No. It doesn’t scare me that you _did_ it.” She says, obviously thinking hard. “It scares me to think you _had_ to.”

“It’s kill or be killed now, Clarke.” Lexa says. “Or watch someone you care about be killed. Or worse.”

“I don’t know if I could do it..”

Lexa thinks for a bit. “You don’t think you can do a lot of things until it is the only thing you _can_ do.” Clarke doesn’t say anything. “If it was your mother, I’m sure you’d do anything for her.”

“I would.. You’re right…” She already did the worst thing she could do to save her mother. The reminder of it saddened her.

“So I told you my story.” Lexa says. “Tell me yours.”

Clarke shifts in the bed uncomfortably. She doesn’t like the idea of telling her story. Not because it was as bad as Lexa’s, but because it was a very personal thing she didn’t want to share with the girl. With anyone. Besides, Lexa had already guessed enough. She understood how hypocritical that was, but she didn’t care. “Next time.”

Lexa nods. She realizes Clarke can't see the action and speaks up. “Next time.”

Lexa allows herself a small smile in the darkness, not knowing Clarke is also smiling at the idea of a next time. “Now get some sleep already. We’ve got things to do tomorrow.”

Hours later, Clarke is soundly asleep, quietly snoring. Lexa, on the other hand, is not. Then again, she never is. She's crazy anxious tonight for some reason and she just can’t sit still. Something about the night leaves her on her toes. She doesn’t like being away from Anya and Costia and Indra for the night. She doesn’t know what's going on over there with them and if they're okay.

“Do you want to die?” Clarke growls from the bed. Lexa stops in her tracks and looks at her.

"You are awake.” She observes.

“I wasn’t, but you won’t stop making noise and woke me up.”

Lexa usually stays up all night sitting down like she did in the woods on guard. But there were times when she needed to just move around. Those were the nights that she would end up waking one of the girls and they would try comforting her. At least they did for the first weeks. The next couple of weeks up until this day, they just ignored her. She missed when they would make her sit down beside them and just hold her hand or something. She missed that dearly. But she understood that they just ran out of feeling along with her during those weeks. And then it just became a thing. When they got to the Walmart fort, they just stuck to their routine of not caring, the same way Lexa was stuck in routine of no sleep. So she doesn’t blame them one bit.

“You’re going to burn a hole into the ground from how much you’re pacing, Lexa. Stop.”

Lexa drops down on the ground in silence, guilt crawling up her body along with anxiety and discomfort. Clarke looks at the silhouette of Lexa. The light from the moon shown against the side of her face lightens Clarke’s mood of being woken up. She can see a multitude of emotions on the other girl’s face that make her sorry for yelling at her. She had never seen so many emotions on her face before and figures if Lexa knew she could see them, she'd pull up her emotionless wall within seconds. Costia did mention that the girl was always restless at night. Lexa turns her head to look out of the window, thinking about her sleeping comrades in Emporia.

“Come here.” Clarke says, pulling Lexa out of her thoughts. She looks at the girl lying on the bed with confusion. “Come here.” Clarke repeats.

“Why?”

“Lexa.” Clarke says in a hard tone. Lexa continues to look at the girl's half hidden face until she finally gets up and walks over to the younger girl, standing over her.  
“What is it, Clarke?”

Without a word, Clarke scoots over on the bed and takes Lexa’s hand, pulling her onto the bed. The skin contact jolts both girls, but they pretend nothing happened.

"What are you doing?” Lexa objects.

“Hush.” Clarke says. “Lie in the damn bed and don’t get back up. If I hear you walking around the room again, I’m going to suspect you’re dead and just kill you.”

Lexa doesn’t object again after the threat. She stays quiet even after Clarke flips to her other side, back facing her and drifts back to sleep.

Lexa isn’t asleep, though. She just lies there, staring up at the ceiling, thinking still. Thinking about Clarke pulling her onto the bed. And Nathan always being friendly with her. Of Anya and Luna’s rapidly affectionate friendship that the girls teased her about. She thinks about how these people really don’t seem so bad. Not everyone is like those guys that took advantage of an innocent girl. Some people were genuinely nice and friendly and wanted nothing more than to keep people safe. Clarke, Octavia, Raven, Luna, Abby, Linda, and Gusts were examples of that.

Clarke flips onto her back and Lexa holds her breath, thinking she's going to yell at her for still being up. She doesn’t say anything at all; she's still asleep. Lexa flips onto her side, facing away from Clarke.

The night is awfully quiet. No crickets, no birds, no groans, no nothing. Just the steady breathing of a sleeping body behind her. It's very comforting.

Suddenly, Clarke rolls onto her side and wraps her arm around Lexa’s waist. Lexa stiffens, unable to think properly from the shock. Clarke pulls herself closer to Lexa and lays her forehead against Lexa's back. Lexa can feel Clarke’s breath hitting her back and it sends chills down her spine. She feels the heat radiating off Clarke's body in waves. After minutes of mental breakdown from the closeness of this woman she finds to be absolutely stunning, she calms down. Clarke’s sleeping embrace comforts her like Anya’s head on her lap does, or Indra’s attempt at staying up with her at night, or Costia’s hand laced into hers.

Just like that, Lexa’s eyes grow heavier and she feels sleep taking over. Instinctively, she links her fingers with Clarke's when she falls asleep. That night, she sleeps the longest she’s slept in a night for the last month.


	7. Gone Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’d love to get some of him on my plate for dinner.” Costia exclaims.  
> “Ew stop, that's my brother! Don't make me barf."  
> “Mira, mija.” Malibu suddenly says. “I just wish he would throw me against a table and--”  
> "Stop!" Octavia cries out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn it's been a while since I've updated this. It would have been soooooo much sooner, since I had this chapter 80% written a long time ago, but one day I got on Word and it was completely gone... Like, 5 pages of nothing. I was so pissed off and lost my inspiration to write it. So if this chapter sucks, it's because honestly, I was just not feelin' rewriting this chapter, but I had to get it done for you guys. Seriously, the first time I wrote it was soooo much better. Hopefully next chapter will be better. Let me know what you think though!

It had been a week since the trip to North Carolina and nothing much had changed between me and Clarke. When Clarke and Lexa came back from the run, they went their separate ways again, going back to their own small groups and barely speaking. Thankfully, Clarke hadn't acknowledged the cuddle session they had woken up in the morning after the first night in Roanoke. Not only had she not mentioned anything about that, but there was no mention about the things Lexa had told her in the café, which Lexa was completely grateful for. She honestly had no idea why she even opened up like that to Clarke, of all people. No more doing that.

No more.

Lexa and the other three got their weapons back as well. According to Bellamy, Clarke told him how behaved and helpful Lexa was in Roanoke and suggested they be able to have their stuff back. They also asked them if they had decided on leaving or staying. After much thought, Lexa and the other girls chose to stay. Maybe for a little bit at least.

Anya is healing fairly quickly. She doesn’t need both crutches now. Her cut was deep and it still looks pretty gross, but she’s definitely feeling much better.

“You look like shit, Lexa.” Raven says, patting Lexa's shoulder when she sits down. Lexa is sitting at the back edge of the rooftop sharpening her blades with Indra (or at least it was with just Indra) when Raven and.. basically everyone else starts coming over to join them. This is new. Unlike Costia and Anya, who are talkative and warmed up fairly quick to everyone in the group, Lexa and Indra refused to let their guards down. She doesn't know anything about Indra's life pre-apocalypse, but Lexa can tell this characteristic similar to her own didn't just happen because the world ended.

“Thank you, Raven.” Lexa mumbles sarcastically.

“Do you even sleep?”

Lexa pauses mid sharpening of her sword and looks at the Latina. “Define sleep.”

“That’s a no.” Costia says, sitting down as well. Lexa looks past Raven at her and she gives Lexa a sad but understanding smile.

“I have something that will help you sleep at night, Lexa.” Abby says. "It will definitely put you to sleep just like that." She snaps her fingers for emphasis.

“Or I can just club you unconscious.” Anya nudges her playfully. Lexa sends her a narrowed glare.

“As appealing as that sounds, Ahn, I think I’ll pass.” Lexa nudges her back. “Thanks for the concern, but I am fine.”

Quickly enough, Lexa found out that the rooftops are where everyone spent most of their time, unless the “counsel” was on the ground floor having some meeting or checking inventory on everything they have. Luna was mostly up here on guard duty. If there were too many Stiffs coming to the building at a time, she’d notify everybody and they'd go out and take them out easily enough. For the times that were more difficult, which didn't happen too often, she would pick them off from the rooftop. They made sure not to waste their ammo though. Anya was usually up here with her. Anya was absolutely infatuated with the sniper and it was something that brightened the day up, honestly. They were something interesting. No one really understood what their relationship was; whether it be very close friends, sisterly, or romantic; but what they did know was that even though the world was ending, you could still find a sort of happiness with someone.

“Finn is staring at you again.” Costia tells Clarke; she doesn't seem to care. "He seriously wants you, Clarke. He never takes his eyes off of you.”

“Have you two actually done anything?” Anya asks as she leans closer to the blonde with intrigue.

Clarke sighs and rolls her eyes. "Oh please. I don’t like him like that. Not at all. He’s just always like that with me.”

“He’s really hot.” Costia says, still talking about Finn.

"You know who's hot?" Malibu says, a suggestive smirk on her lips. “Bellamy.”

“Oh god, yes!" Costia exclaims. "I’d love to get some of him on my plate for dinner.”

“Ew stop, that's my brother! Don't make me barf, seriously.” Octavia mumbles.

“Mira, mija.” Malibu suddenly says. “I just wish he would throw me against a table and--”

"Stop!" Octavia cries out, glaring at Malibu. Every one but Indra and Lexa burst into laughter; Lexa's just trying to focus on working on her sword.

As though sensing the girls were talking about them, Bellamy and Finn come up to their circle. “Hey, ladies. Clarke.” Finn smiles and nods his head at her. Luna nudges her with her shoulder.

“How’s everything going over here?” Bellamy asks.

“Even better now that you’re here, papi.” Melissa says. Anya covers her mouth to stifle a laugh.

“Alright, that’s very good to hear.” His smile grows wider from the compliment as he looks at Melissa.

“So have you decided yet, Clarke?” Finn asks.

“You know the answer already, Finn.” She says. His smile fades a little. “It’s still a no. I’m sorry.”

He nods before walking back to the other guys on the other side of the rooftop.

"Ladies." Bellamy says with his smile. He gives Melissa another look and a wink before leaving as well.

“What was that about?” Anya asks.

“He’s been trying to get me to date him since we met.” Clarke puffs. “He doesn’t get that my ‘ _no’_ is not going to change.”

"Somebody really wants to get in your pants." Raven says with the shake of her head.

Lexa tunes them out, putting her attention on the even strokes she makes with the file against the sword in her lap. She doesn't notice the powder blue eyes watching her from across the circle of girls.

When she finishes, she places the sword back in its sheath and stands to leave.

"Where are you going, Lex?" Anya asks curiously.

"Hunting." Lexa says.

Suddenly, Clarke stands from her spot. "Wait." She says. Lexa turns around and eyes her questioningly. "I'm coming with you."

Lexa quirks a brow in surprise. "No you are not."

"Why not?" Clarke asks.

"Why would you?"

Clarke shrugs. "I want to."

Lexa only looks at her for a moment in silence. "I hunt alone."

Clarke crosses her arms and leans her weight to one side. "I let you tag along with me to Roanoke. You owe me one."

Lexa narrows her eyes at Clarke, challenging her with a glare that Clarke reflects. The group of people around them watch in silence. Anya is smirking at the two and sending knowing glances to Costia. After some time and tension, Lexa's expression falls to a stoic look and she lifts her chin up more. "Fine. You may join me, Clarke."

Lexa is really something else when she is in her hunter’s mode. Right after they leave, Clarke and Lexa go into the woods and Lexa sets up some small animal traps. She even shows Clarke how to do them and, to Clarke's surprise, lets her make a couple as well.

After that, they set off in one of the trucks to a different area where they could catch something bigger.

“I have got a good feeling about today.” Lexa says, keeping her eyes on the road.

They stop somewhere on the highway and leave the car idle as they make their way into the woods. After a while, they are decently deep into the woods and still haven’t heard a single noise; nothing from a Walker or an animal.

“Why are you so into this? It’s so boring. It's taking so long.” Clarke mumbles.

“It takes as long as it takes." Lexa says simply, her eyes still scanning the woods around them. When Clarke huffs in irritation, she continues. "You must have patience for it, Clarke. If you wish to eat at night.”

“Where the hell are th-“ Clarke starts.

“Stop talking.” Lexa hisses. Clarke arrows her eyes at the brunette but is ignored. And then she hears the ruffling of leaves. Clarke's ears perk from the noise and she searches the whole of the woods. _Left? No, right. Wait, no.._

Lexa pulls her bow out and takes an arrow from her quiver, readying them with her full focus on their surroundings. Clarke squints her eyes into the trees and sees something. She finally feels the excitement that Lexa must have had all this time. Just a few more seconds and they can get this….

Walker?

A Walker appears through the trees in the direction they thought was an animal. Lexa drops the arrow from the knocking point and sets it back in the quiver before slipping the bow back in place over her shoulder and pulling her machete out without a word or any sign of irritation. The frustration, however, is very evident as she swings so hard that the top half of its head completely flies off. She ushers Clarke to follow her deeper into the woods.

They walk in total silence for about thirty minutes, Lexa in her hunting zone. Clarke notices how even though they are outside without the protection of the walls of the Wal-Depot, Lexa's shoulders are more relaxed and her expression isn't as hard. She almost looks like that same Lexa that she was with in Roanoke that first day and night.

"Can I ask you something?" Clarke asks, growing antsy from the lack of conversation. After a moment, Lexa nods. "Why are you always so quiet? You rarely speak and you're always so far from everyone back in Wal-Depot."

"Silence is golden, Clarke." Lexa says. "What is the point of speaking when I do not need to speak?"

"If you don't speak, you can't really make friends with the other people of the group. They don't really now what to do around you when you don't talk much." Clarke says, remembering the way the Finn, Bellamy and Murphy talked about Lexa being some sort of aggressive stray dog nobody wanted to be around the other day. It had really pissed her off and she interrupted them with some quite unfriendly words.

"I do not need to make friends with these people." Lexa says, looking at Clarke finally. "I have my friends. Costia, Anya, and Indra are the only people I need."

Clarke feels a pang in her chest at that and she can't quite figure what that means. She's about to counter the girl’s statement when Lexa brings her hand up to stop them.

“Wait.” She says. They stand there silently for only a few seconds before Clarke hears it. The leaves are ruffling on the ground once again in front of them. And then it comes into view. Not a Walker; it's a beautiful deer. It’s antlers are small, and it's walking around with its head held low.

Lexa brings her bow out in front of her again very slowly to keep from making any noise. She put the arrow in her hands to the bow and pulls back, tightening the string and taking her aim. The deer suddenly lifts its head and Clarke holds her breath. There is no sound at all, as though someone muted the world.

Lexa lets go and the deer drops to the ground a second later.

“You got it!” Clarke half whispers in excitement.

After much time dragging the dead deer back to the road and onto the back of the truck and then driving back, they are once again in Emporia. They call the guys out to take it inside so they can start cooking. Clarke is about to follow them back inside, when she looks back to see Lexa turn away and start walking away.

"Where are you going?" Clarke asks, taking a few steps toward her. Lexa turns around and looks at her.

"I don't want to be stuck in there for however long just yet." She says. She and Clarke look at each other for a moment longer until Lexa's eyes soften just a bit. "Would you like to join me?"

“Where would we go?”

“Anywhere.”

Clarke looks at the girl standing in front of her. What was it about this green eyed girl that made her so mysterious to Clarke? She was daring to go out alone as though the dead weren't walking around eating the living. Clarke would never just go out somewhere for a bit unless it was to go out and scavenge for food or clear out a building. But here Lexa is, wanting to go ‘ _anywhere’_ just for a bit. Her emerald orbs show calm and security and Clarke can't think of any place she'd rather be at the moment than _'anywhere'_ with this girl she barely knows..

“I think I know a place.” Clarke says.

~~~~~

Clarke takes Lexa to a small park a block away from their refuge. On one side of the park is a playground, while the other side holds a swing set. There are a couple of Stiffs roaming around the playground and Lexa and Clarke take them out quickly before heading to the swings.

Lexa sits on a swing and kicks off softly and quietly. Clarke sits on a swing and can't help but watch the girl beside her as her hair blows behind her in the wind. Lexa looks ten times relaxed outside than she does imprisoned in the large concrete building, Clarke notices. She thinks she even sees a small smile on the girl's lips.

She looks away when Lexa looks at her and catches her watching and looks toward the park in front of them. Her eyes catch the monkey bars.

"Oh!" She cries, jumping from her swing and running toward them. "Lexa, come here!"

Lexa joins her; her eyes on Clarke are soft and amused. "Have you never seen monkey bars, Clarke?"

Clarke glares at Lexa halfheartedly before smiling at her. "Let's make a bet."

Lexa tilts her head to the side. "What kind of bet?"

"If I can do more pull-ups than you, I get to ask you a question. Whatever I want, and you have to answer it. If you do more, then you can ask me a question."

Lexa's eyes are never-blinking on Clarke. "Anything?"

Clarke nods. "Anything."

Lexa smirks. "You will lose."

Clarke sends her a challenging smile. "We'll see. Ready?"

Lexa removes the bow and quiver and sets them on the ground against a metal pole, leaving her sword and machete strapped to her as she positions herself underneath a bar. She nods to Clarke with a look of determination.

"Go!" Clarke yells, jumping a little to reach her own bar. Lexa jumps smoothly and grabs hold of her bar, immediately pulling herself up with no effort.

They go at it for quite some time, Lexa surprised by just how many pull-ups the girl in front of her can actually do. They're on twenty when Clarke's arms start to visibly tremble. She starts to grit her teeth and scrunch her face with each pull, but doesn't give in and doesn't break their stare down. Lexa, on the other hand, is still almost effortlessly pulling her chin up and over the bar, her expression still as stoic as ever and her form still perfect.

At twenty-six, Clarke's arms are shaking hard as she fights to pull herself up with a grunt. Lexa knows the girl has lost before she even lets the bar go and drops to her feet. Clarke groans hard as she shakes her arms around to soothe her tired muscles. Lexa, on the other hand, continues going. With a small smirk, she looks at Clarke, who is breathing heavily and watching her, before she looks straight ahead again and pulls up to the bar.

When she hits thirty-five, her arms start to shake and burn a little. Clarke is watching her in disbelief when she reaches forty. Finally, at fifty-one, Lexa pulls down and back up once more before she decided she's made her point and let's go.

"Jesus, Lexa." Clarke says, watching as Lexa takes her bow and quiver back from the ground. "Are you even human?"

"You lost." Lexa says with a teasing smirk when she turns to look at Clarke again. "You don't get to ask the questions."

Clarke groans and rolls her eyes. "I shouldn't have made that stupid bet." She grumbles.

Lexa lets out what almost sounds like a laugh that catches Clarke's attention. "I warned you, did I not?"

"Shut up. What's your stupid question?"

Lexa starts walking away and turns her head to her. "I'll save it for later."

When the sun is starting to set, Lexa and Clarke are sitting on the merry-go-round; Lexa leans against the outer support poles and faces inward while Clarke sits beside her the opposite way with her back against the inner pole as she faces the out. They've sat there in silence for at least thirty minutes, just looking out at their surroundings as they spun slowly, Clarke's leg dangling to the ground to keep pushing.

Lexa is looking up at the changing color of the sky. Clarke has been looking past her, stealing glances at the brunette every few minutes, wondering what the blank expression on the girl's face means.

"What's up with you and sunsets?" Clarke suddenly asks after one last glance before giving in. "You're up on the rooftop watching it just about every night. You climbed out of the window just to watch it on our run the other day."

She waits for Lexa to answer her. After much time of silence, she doesn't think Lexa will, but she does finally and her voice is soft and delicate.

"Every sunset is a promise of a new day, Clarke. And in this world, that's everything." When Lexa looks back at the blonde, she see expecting eyes. "My father used to say that no matter what happens in the day, good or bad, there will always be a sunset to promise a better day."

"But it's not always a better day. Especially not now." Clarke says quietly.

Lexa looks at Clarke finally. "It's still another day. Another day means you are still alive. Another day means you have survived." Sapphire eyes meet emerald and Lexa ignores the hard thumping in her chest. "Plus, the colors are just brilliant. Aren't you an artist? Do you not like sunsets?"

Clarke chuckles and looks up at the sun almost completely hidden before the merry-go-round spins it out of view. "I do like them. I just never think about them like that."

"When I look at it, I feel connected to my father again.” Lexa says quietly, gazing at the dark pinks and oranges and blues when they spin her way. “He may be gone, but I feel like I'm with him somehow when I look up at it."

Suddenly, Lexa makes a pained face that Clarke notices.  "What's on your mind, Lexa?"

 _I did it again_ , Lexa thinks. _I said more personal stuff to this girl._

"Nothing." Lexa answers. Clarke can tell there's something more to it, but decides to leave it alone.

They fall into a comfortable silence again as they take turns watching the sun hide behind the trees. At the last bit of lighting, Clarke stops the merry-go-round and climbs to her feet.

"We should probably head back before everyone gets worried and comes looking for us."

Lexa nods and gets up and they make their way back.

~~~~~

The rest of the night goes by quickly. While everyone had talked about how amazing and sweet the deer meat was, Clarke couldn't even seem to taste it. She tried to force herself to enjoy it just as she tried to force herself to stop thinking about Lexa, who sat across from her and had once again pretended they didn't just spend another full day together. She has no idea why it bothers her so much, but it does and she fought to ignore the clenching in her stomach every time Lexa looked up and caught her eye before the girl quickly looked away.

Now, She is swinging in her hammock bed as everyone is getting ready to sleep. She scrolls through her iPod looking for a song to start off her night with. She's about to stick her earphones in when her mother speaks below her.

"You and Lexa sent the day outside." She states. Clarke nods, ignoring the fact that Abby cannot see her. "You were staring at her basically the entire time at dinner."

Clarke sighs. "No I wasn't."

"Clarke." She says, and Clarke can just imagine that mom look Abby is giving the back of her head. "I saw it. I know what I'm saying."

"What's your point, mom?" Clarke says, rolling her eyes.

"She was looking at you too." She says. "She's got this tough girl demeanor, but the way she looks at you is different. I can tell." Clarke doesn't say anything.

"You like her, Clarke."

"I don't li-"

"Don't try denying it from me, Clarke." Abby says, playfully kicking the bottom of her daughter's hammock. "I'm your mother. I can see past any wall you try to put up. You like her, even if you don't know it yet or you're just denying it. I don't know anything about that girl, but something about her tells me she's not so bad. I don't.. hate the idea of you two."

Clarke thinks about her mother's words. "Even if I liked her - which I don't... She doesn't like me so it doesn't matter."

"You like her, I can tell. And maybe she likes you too, what with the way she was looking at you when you weren't looking at her. You'll see it some day. Let's just hope it's not too late."

Clarke drops her hand from her hammock and Abby holds onto it from below. Clarke squeezes it tightly. "You're the only one I need, mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr @ gayassheda for any questions or prompts!


	8. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why does Wal-Mart not sell Playboy magazines.” Lexa grunts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic (for now) Octavia isn't the outcast badass bitch she becomes in the show, and Lexa doesn't commander the entire group. Did I say for now already? Hehe. For now.  
> Shout out for Lextavia! And also to Clarktavia (?) brotp and all the weird tension between Clarke and Lexa.

Clarke plugs her iPod into the car charger and heads back into Wal-Depot. It is a little past morning and everyone has already had their cups of dry cereal and canned fruits and lukewarm oatmeal and are busy doing their own things. Gustus is on the rooftop for his lookout shift today, Bellamy is somewhere with Murphy and Finn probably talking about later today’s plans, Abby is doing inventory and Clarke doesn’t know what everyone else is doing.

Clarke walks down the aisles listening for any sign of Octavia.

“This book selection is seriously shitty.” She hears her voice to her left.

_The book section. I should have known._

“What about the religious section?” Lexa asks. Clarke finds the two along with Anya digging through one of the not-so-full bookshelves. “I’m sure you can find some entertainment in those books.”

Octavia and Anya laugh and Octavia pushes Lexa playfully. “I’ve read all of the books here that look interesting. I refuse to read any of these shitty books, though.”

“What about the library?” Anya requests. “This town may be small but I’m sure they have a library at least.”

“It was burned down.” Clarke says, catching their attention. “Along with a couple of other buildings. Some places were destroyed when we got here while others seemed to have been completely bypassed. The library wasn’t so lucky.”

“You scared the shit out of me, Clarke.” Octavia says. “How long were you standing there?”

“I just got here. I heard your voice from a mile away.” Clarke teases her best friend.

“She’s been complaining about not having anything to read for about ten minutes already.” Lexa says, rolling her eyes. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear her from outside.”

After their time together in the playground, Lexa seemed to have grown more comfortable with a few certain people in the group: Gustus, Octavia, Raven, and Abby. This isn't the first time Clarke has caught the girl spending time with her friends or mother. Actually, she had grown quite close to Abby. Clarke guesses it's to her mother's doing.

She follows the three down the aisle and into the Lounging Room. Raven and Bryan had created the Lounging Room two weeks after they found Wal-Depot. They had rearranged the bookshelves to form a large open square area and placed some chairs found in the furniture part of Wal-Mart inside of the said square, creating what looked like a waiting room in a dentist office. It wasn’t even close to what would be considered a room, seeing that the “walls” were bookshelves and there were no closed corners, but the name sounded fitting and it just stuck.

Malibu is sitting in one of the chairs reading a book when they enter the Lounging Room. Costia is reading a magazine in a chair and Luna is laying with her head on one arm rest and her legs dangling off of the other arm rest in a third chair. Clarke plops down in another seat and Octavia slides into a bean bag chair under her. Clarke immediately begins playing with Octavia's hair.

She watches Lexa diligently as she continues her search through the bookshelves. “Why does Wal-Mart not sell Playboy magazines.” She grunts.

Clarke looks at her in bewilderment until she sees the smile form and realizes it's a joke. “Playboy? Really?” Clarke chuckles. She's still not used to seeing the girl be more... _human_. She's still the same stoic and closed-off girl as before, though she did lower her walls just a bit.

“No Playboy, but this will do.” Lexa says, picking up a magazine and sitting in an empty chair. “'Clarke Griffin. 2015’s most successful business woman, also ranked number one as the sexiest woman in America. See page thirty-four to learn how.'”

Clarke looks at Lexa to see a People’s Magazine in her hand and her picture on the cover as the older girl begins flipping through the pages.

“Don't you dare, Lexa.” Clarke says, panic rolling through her body.

Lexa doesn’t bother to look up from the magazine. “I didn't know you were this famous.” She says.

Clarke feels a pang of disappointment from her tone. In the week after getting close for one night, Lexa may have gotten friendly with some people, but she and Clarke are still not getting anywhere with each other. Or at least Clarke isn't getting anywhere with Lexa. It wasn't that she was avoiding Clarke, but she sure wasn't going out of her way to talk to her. Clarke had asked to go hunt with her a couple of times again but she merely told Clarke what she said the first time: _I hunt alone_.

Lexa stops flipping pages when she finds what she's looking for. “'Clarke Griffin has been rapidly growing in popularity in New York for her work as a paramedic. The twenty-two year old had only started off just a year ago and has saved hundreds of lives in that time. Just how did this New York born goddess become so famous in such short time? Clarke Griffin made time in her demanding schedule to answer a few questions for us that we are exclusively relaying to the fans of the sexiest woman in America.”

Lexa continues to read through the page but Clarke blocks her out as she watches her. She was glaring at her at first, hoping Lexa could feel her eyes burning holes into her stupid skull, but Clarke becomes distracted by Lexa's moving lips as she speaks. Her soft-looking lips call for Clarke even though Lexa herself doesn't. Clarke refused to admit to herself how much Lexa occupied her, but times like this she couldn’t help but notice. Her mom was right and she knew it. Clarke liked Lexa.

Clarke looks to the side to see Anya looking at her. She's been caught once again staring at Lexa. She quickly looks away and brings herself back to reality just in time to see Lexa looking up from the magazine, having finished the article.

“Are you done bringing up my past yet?” Clarke snaps. Lexa's stoic expression doesn't falter as she gives her a short nod. Clarke glares at her, receiving no reaction from the brunette in front of her.

“Umm.. Is everything okay with you two?” Costia asks.

“Everything is fine.” Lexa says. “The way it should be.” She gets up from her seat and places the magazine back in its rightful spot on the shelf. “I am going to go change and get ready for later.”

~~~

Clarke slips her leg holster around her thigh and slides her hammer into it snuggly. She looks to her right to see Octavia checking the quality of her kukri blade. Anxiety engulfs her as it usually does when Octavia is going out in the open, exposed to the Walkers.

“Are you sure you want to come, Octavia?” Clarke asks, knowing what the answer would be as always.

She rolls her eyes. "Look, I get enough of Bellamy trying to make me stay, I don't need you doing it too. Raven doesn't ever do this. I’m positive I want to join. I know you’re worried, but I can take care of myself, you know.”

Since the first raid in Roanoke Rapids, the council had been discussing the need of going back. The town is quite large and they have a Wal-Mart. In the end, they all decided they would. Sooner or later they would need to check that Wal-Mart for necessities and they couldn’t afford to wait or it may be too late. It’s the biggest decision they’ve ever made. They needed everyone to be on board for this job and thankfully they were all in.

Clarke looks away from Octavia and scans the group. Lexa is across from her behind with Anya and Costia and Indra. She is swinging her sword skillfully as if practicing for a battle. Clarke can’t deny how sexy it looks as she does so. She puts the blade back in its back sheath. She finishes checking her equipment and looks up, speaking to Indra.

“Earth to Clarkey.” Raven’s voice and hand waving in Clarke's face pulls her out of her reverie and she looks at her best friend.

“What?” She asks.

“You were staring at Lexa and it was starting to get creepy, I gotta say. Like Finn creepy.” Raven says, a wide grin forming across her face. Clarke knows what that look means.

Clarke looks down and wipes her hands on her dark blue skinny jeans, hiding her face with a groan. “I wasn’t looking at her. I was hoping Costia would look over here and see me looking at her so she would come over here.”

_Good excuse. Sounds plausible._

“Really good excuse.” Raven snorts and winks at the blonde, patting her shoulder. She should have known Raven wouldn’t believe that.

Clarke looks over at Lexa and her group again and sees Abby and Octavia standing with them now. Clarke looks to her right where her friend was before to see her gone. “When the hell did she leave?” She asks.

“When I got your attention.” Raven says. “It’s fine. You’re secret is safe with me.” Raven’s grin grows with every word she says.

“Shut up, Rae.” Clarke warns. “I have no secret. I was looking at Costia, not Lexa.”

“Alright, alright. Damn, princess, don't be so defensive. Makes it sound like you _are_ keeping a secret.” Raven says, hiding a laugh.

“Finally, I’m getting off of that stupid rooftop.” Luna says, coming up beside Clarke.

“Octavia has been talking about this day since it was announced we were going back.” Raven says, looking at the young girl with Lexa. Octavia did in fact look happier already, and they haven't even left yet. "I can't wait to get out of here again too, honestly."

Clarke shakes her head and looks between the two. “You guys are happy to be going out there and risking your life?”

“It’s easy for you to say that, Clarke.” Luna says. “You go out there at least once every week. I'm stuck in this place every single day only, able to see the same damn thing for months. It’s a nice change of scenery.”

“I for one just don't like being stuck here for too long. About time we head out again.” Raven says.

For this task of emptying out the Wal-Mart in Roanoke, they needed everyone who is able to go with them. Three or four of them cannot go and expect to clear it out, seeing as they have no idea how many tons of Walkers could actually be in there. The only people who are staying behind are Malibu, Linda, Abby, and Bryan to hold the fort down while the rest are away. They had estimated that the trip would take at least two days. Today would be for Walmart. Tomorrow would be to finish clearing the town.

“Okay everybody.” Bellamy yells over the talking of the group. “We’ve got a productive day ahead of us. Everyone ready?”

~~~

Raven, Octavia, Luna, and Clarke get out of their car. In front of them is the Wal-Mart in Roanoke Rapids. Beside them, Anya, Lexa, Costia, and Indra get out of their car and beside them, Bellamy, Murphy, Miller, and Gustus exit theirs.

“This is serious, everybody.” Clarke says, staring up at the superstore. “This is the biggest job we’ve done. We need whatever is in there, got it? Stay close together and watch each other’s backs. We have to stick together as a team and to make it out of this all alive.”

They quietly enter the building, Clarke taking the lead. Octavia is beside Bellamy like she usually is usually forced to be when she joins them in town lootings. The metal gate to the entrance of the store is almost completely closed, leaving a gap large enough for one person to squeeze through at a time.

She looks through the gate into the humungous room. Right in front of them is a flower stand, where just four months ago, men would be piled in front of trying to find the best bouquet of flowers for their loved one for Valentine’s Day. To the left of them were the registers. Clarke imagines the light of only three or four of those numbered boxes over each of the fourteen registers would be on and the lines to those registers would be full of people impatiently wondering why there were so little registers open all the time. In front of her, past the flowers, there are aisles upon aisles of things from art supplies to video games to clothes to food.

Clarke waves Bellamy to the front of the gate.

“See that?” She whispers to him. He takes a look, and after a moment, he pulls away to look at her.

“How many are you getting?” He asks.

Clarke looks through again and focuses on the task at hand, scanning the superstore once again. A few Walkers dressed in Wal-Mart uniforms are roaming around the register area. Down a few aisles, there is another Walker lying against the end of an endcap shelved with picture frames. Another one has just walked out of sight about five rows past that one. Clarke counts down the entirety of what she can see.

“I’ve got seven.” Clarke says to Bellamy. He nods.

“That’s what I go too. And that’s only the ones we can see from here. There’s gotta be a shit load more. Ready?”

Clarke looks up at him and nods firmly. He nods back, indicating to make her move. She turns around to find Octavia. She is standing beside Lexa, her hand gripping the taller girl’s shoulder tightly. Octavia is nervous, that much is obvious. Lexa has her sword and machete firmly in her hands and a sure and strong look burning green fires in her eyes, ready for action. Clarke turns back to the gate and squeezes through the gap and into what would soon be a battle field.

One by one, the other eleven members of the recently grown group joins her on that side of the gate. Bellamy signals with his hands that they are splitting into two groups; they had planned to divide into two before leaving to make this go by faster and with less difficulty. Now, Clarke feels uneasy about it.

Bellamy points to a few people and they moved over to him. Clarke is in charge of the second group. Lexa, Gustus, Murphy, Raven, and Octavia are the people joining Bellamy.

Clarke feels slightly panicked as she watches her two best friends move farther and farther away from her. When they go out on their supply runs, she and Raven always stuck together (except for their last time when Lexa joined in). It just isn't natural for them to be separated from each other on a run. Bellamy for sure would take care of his sister, but the girl rarely ever left their home in Emporia, so Clarke can't help but be worried. She's ready to chase after them when a hand grips her shoulder from behind. She turns around in alert, hand on her hammer ready to swing at the Walker’s head. Miller is behind her however, his hand no longer on her shoulder but instead in mid reach. He gives her a knowing look.

“They're going to be perfectly fine, Clarke.” He says. “Bellamy and Lexa and Gustus are with them. They’ve got their backs, don’t worry.”

Clarke looks at him for a little longer, relief slowly taking away her sudden nerves.

“Are we going to just stand here or are we going to do this already?” Indra asks impatiently.

Clarke sets her mind straight and back on the mission as she takes lead of the now smaller group and starts to the right of the entrance.

They turn the corner from the flowers and face the pharmacy and health aisles. Just from what they can see, there are already three Walkers. She points three fingers to the Walkers.

_Take them out._

They strike as one. Clarke walks past the first corpse and Indra takes it out with her combat knife easily. Clarke swiftly pulls her hammer from its safety and strikes the next creature as Costia takes the last one out in front of her.

They continue forward, taking the Walkers out. They aren’t bunched together into herds, making it much easier than anticipated to clear the sections out. The group is halfway done with their half of the superstore when a very loud and echoing crash sounds from the opposite side of the store. And then there is a cry out.

“Raven!!” Octavia’s voice echoes through the place.

Miller pulls the walkie talkie he has clipped to his pants up to his mouth. “What’s going on?” Clarke's heart is ready to pound out of her chest and it takes the world for her not to run across the place to them.

A minute later, Bellamy speaks through the talkie. “Everything’s okay, just a bit of a delay. We’re almost done, where are you guys?”

Clarke grabs the walkie talkie from Miller and presses the speak button. “How are Raven and Octavia?”

“I’m perfectly fine, blondie.” Raven says back.

“Don't worry, I'm fine as well.” Instead of Octavia’s voice, Lexa is next with a monotone tone. Clarke isn't entirely sure if she's joking or not. “It’s not like I wasn’t in danger either.”

Clarke sighs in exasperation. “How’s Octavia, Lexa?”

“I’m fine, Clarke. Lex and Bell have my back.” Clarke can almost hear the eye roll in Octavia's voice when it comes through the speaker.

“And Octavia has my back a lot better than you did.” Lexa speaks again. “I guess the concern you had for me the first time we were here was just a one-time thing.” Her tone comes out a little more teasing, but Clarke still can't tell how much of a joke it really is. If she didn't know any better, Clarke might actually think she hurt the girl's feelings.

She brushes it off and presses the talk button again. “Get back to the job, Lexa.” She says, trying to add a bit of tease into her voice to lighten the air.

She passes the walkie talkie back to Miller and they continue down the right side of the Walmart, taking the dead out routinely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any questions or prompts? Find me on Tumblr @ gayassheda


	9. The Other Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my favorite chapter, but it'll make do.

Bellamy points at the people he's going to take to the left side of their Wal-Mart run through, choosing Lexa, Gustus, Murphy, Raven, and Octavia. Unlike Clarke, who was feeling uneasy and anxious the moment she was separated from her best friends, Octavia feels a sort of rush for finally being able to get out and do something helpful. Where Clarke and Bellamy are worried for her being out in the open, Octavia feels relaxed and free. It's not that Octavia has no worries about what could happen today -- she's very much nervous and anxious -- but she knows she's safe with the company she's around. She knows that she can count on Raven and Bellamy to be there. She knows Lexa has grown a liking to her and the moment they're grouped together, she notices the way Lexa sticks near her as though she's protecting her. Normally, Octavia doesn't exactly take too kindly to people underestimating her abilities and getting overprotective of her, but Lexa is different.

Octavia and Lexa had grown closer as time was stretching and Octavia felt just as much a connection with the older girl as she had with Clarke and Raven. The girl she had only met just a few weeks ago was much closer than any of these people she had known for months before. Lexa was always so tense and guarded and paranoid, but she was also loyal and strong and smart. She was still weary of a few of the people in the group, like Murphy, Finn, and Bellamy, but she had let her guard down a fair amount around Octavia just like she had with Costia and Indra and Anya.

Easily enough, the Wal-Mart worker Walkers by the registers are permanently taken down and the group head to the section of the super store.

Lexa stops in front of a box of Cheez-It crackers and licks her lips, imagining her fingers covered in powder cheese as she dives her hand into the yellow pool of--

"Hey, no grabbing anything until we've cleared the entire place of these fuckers." Murphy says, grabbing the attention of Lexa, whose hand is already reaching for the box. He's pointing down at a corpse he had just taken down to make his point clearer that they're still not safe. "You're asking to be bitten if you're that distracted by food, and I'm not saving you if that's the case."

"Oh come on, Murphy," Octavia says. "Take a break from your duty of being the group asshole for once. Take a chill pill."

"A chill pill??" Murphy is growing annoyed and his voice starts to rise. "She needs to learn when the right fucking time to look for food is! She's not going to notice when a Walker is coming up from behind if she gets distracted by a stupid box of Cheez-Its all the time."

"Fuck you." Lexa says. "I was just looking at it, back off."

"Bellamy, do you hear this bitch??" Murphy tries at Bellamy for backup. Bellamy shrugs, refusing to get into it.

"Pull the stick out of your ass, Murphy, and stop yelling." Raven chimes in. "You're going to get the attention of Walk-- whoa!"

Everyone turns to look at Raven as she's pushed by a Walker. Raven backs away unsuccessfully and trips over a can on the floor, smashing into a glass freezer filled with frozen vegetables. The glass shatters and flies all over the place.

"Raven!" Octavia exclaims, charging over to Raven who is still wrestling with the Walker that is now on top of her in the freezer. She sinks her blade into the skull of the corpse and it slinks to the floor away from the two of them.

"What's going on??" Miller's voice comes through the walkie talkie Bellamy has hooked to his jeans. He's about to answer back when another Walker comes out from one of the aisles they haven't gotten to yet. A second later, another one  appears. And another one.

Bellamy and Lexa go in for the kills, Lexa taking two of them out. Everyone stands still for a moment longer, listening for sign of anymore.

"See what I mean?" Murphy says, breaking the silence.

"You're kidding me right?" Raven looks at Murphy in disbelief.

"Everything's okay, just a bit of a delay. We're almost done, where are you guys?" Bellamy asks through the walkie talkie.

"How are Raven and Octavia?" Clarke asks this time.

Raven takes the talkie from Bellamy. "I'm perfectly fine, princess."

Half annoyed, half amused, Lexa snatches the device next. "Don't worry, I am fine as well. It's not like I wasn't in danger either."

"How's Octavia, Lexa?"

Amusement leaves Lexa as she presses the talk button for Octavia, who is standing beside her now. "I'm fine, Clarke. Lexa and Bell have my back." Octavia says as she winks at Lexa.

"And Octavia has my back a lot better than you did." Lexa speaks again, this time more serious, with just a hint of forced teasing. "I guess the concern you had for me the first time we were here was just a one-time thing."

There's a pause before Clarke speaks again. "Get back to the job, Lexa.

Lexa doesn't say anything back as she tosses the device back to Bellamy and turns back toward the aisles they would be checking next. It had been a while since Lexa's and Clarke's time in the woods and the playground. The moment Lexa once again started spewing out her personal things like word vomit, she knew what she had to do. She couldn't continue opening up like that to her. She knew that it would either bother Clarke if Lexa acted as though nothing happened, or she wouldn't be fazed whatsoever. She wasn't sure what was going on with her. Well, she did know, but just like Clarke, she was avoiding it; ignoring it and pulling it back. She knew she was starting to have some sort of feelings for the blonde leader that wasn't just business and survival feelings. She knew something about Clarke was drawing her to her and that's why Lexa kept telling her things when she didn't want to. She knew what was going on, but she refused to let it happen. There was no way she would allow herself fall for someone in a world that promised your death just as much as it promised the sun to come up after every night. Love is the most dangerous thing anyone can ever feel in a world like this; it will be the cause of one's death and their greatest weakness. And Lexa is not weak.

Lexa turns to look at Raven beside her. The Latina is picking shards of glass out of her arm.

"Hey, Raven," Lexa starts, grabbing the girl's arm. "Watch where you are   
going next time."

Raven smiles through the pain as Lexa pulls a piece of glass from the back of her shoulder. "Where's the fun in that, huh?"

Octavia hands Raven her bat back. Raven had found the bat in a home they had been raiding one night in a workshop garage and an idea struck her like lightening. She took the bat and hammered the thickest nails she could find in the garage to the bat. Feeling as though it wasn't enough, she reinforced it even more by sticking a long knife into the end of it. She called the bat Hades, after the God of Death, for obvious reasons.

They start their progression once more through their side of the Wal-Mart, clearing the Dead out faster than before.

"Alright, we're set." Bellamy says into the talkie when they finish.

"Almost done here." Clarke says from the other side. "Go ahead and start without us."

Bellamy nods for the rest of his group to begin, and they spread out into their desired aisles. There isn't a ton left over from the past lootings, but there was definitely enough to go around. Lexa and Octavia find themselves in the crackers and snacks aisle, throwing Ritz crackers and peanut butter and gummy snacks into their sacks.

Lexa is finally able to take the Cheez-It box from the shelf and she immediately opens it and grabs a handful, shoving it all into her mouth. Her mouth waters and her jaw burns from the sudden taste it was no longer used to. When the feeling is gone, she shovels more into her mouth.

"Oh my god." Octavia says behind her. Lexa looks into her friend's eyes and gives her a mischievous smirk; cheese covering the older girl's lips and chin.

"Ish sho gud." Lexa mumbles through her full mouth.

"This is another side of you I've never seen, Lex." Octavia mumbles before she stick her hand into the box again and pulling it out with a handful of the cheesy goodness. "What have the Cheeze-Its done to you?" She throws the handful into her mouth and her smile grows wide and she moans in delight. The two friends stand there eating the snack in secret, exchanging a few words in between swallows.

"What is so funny over here..." Raven starts as she corners the aisle. She stops midway through her sentence at the sight of the two girls stuffing their faces without her. "How could you not invite me to this??" She walks over and joins them. "Oh my god it's like an orgasm in my mouth!"

The comment leaves Octavia and Raven in a laughing frenzie, and after staring at the two girls in shock, Lexa surprisingly joins them.

Gustus is next to investigate the change of atmosphere that can be heard through the food section. "You know we're not supposed to be eating it." He says, giving them a half-hearted scolding look. "You're going to get us in..."

Lexa innocently offers him the open box, silencing the large man. Gustus tries hard to hide his smile as he sticks his hand in the box and grabs a handful.

~~~

The entire Wal-Mart had been cleared out and the group had regrouped, only to separate once again. Everyone paired up and started grabbing things they needed for the ride back. They decided to stay for two or three days and had plenty of time to raid, but Bellamy had them start off right away just in case.

Octavia and Raven regrouped with Clarke and Costia, and Luna is, of course, with Anya. Indra and Lexa decide to roam around together and soon find themselves at the entrance of Wal-Mart, standing in front of the metal gate they squeezed through earlier in the day. Across from the gate is the big hall filled with shopping carts, a claw machine, a movie rental box, and the door leading outside that was no longer a door. The glass of the sliding doors had been shattered, probably from the absolute beginning. Judging from the almost completely closed metal gate and the broken glass door, the store had attempted to keep anyone and everyone wanting to get supplies for the 'plague' out. They were obviously not successful.

Lexa crosses the gate to the open side and looks outside, feeling the summer heat. The sun is still at its fullest, though in a few more hours it will begin setting.

 _Another day almost gone and we're still here_ , Lexa thinks, a small smile on her lips. She scans the area in front of her. The parking lot is empty of life -- or death for that matter -- only left with deserted vehicles and shopping carts. Across the street from the Wal-Mart is the café she and Clarke went to the first time. Her smile grows at the memory of it and she admits to craving another day like that in her mind. She pushes the thought from her head and continues looking around.

On one side of the Wal-Mart parking lot there is a book store. An idea crosses Lexa's mind and she and Indra head back inside. She finds Octavia, Clarke and Raven quickly. Not wanting to get the attention of the other two, she waits until Octavia turns around and sees her. Lexa waves the girl towards her.

"I'll be back." Octavia says to the other two before leaving their side and going to Lexa.

"We have to take you somewhere." Lexa says with a smile. Octavia is about to ask what when Lexa grabs her hand and pulls her away.

Much like Lexa had expected, the book store only contains four Stiffs, which they take down easily. "Wow." Octavia says as she scans the aisles books. "So many books, I might actually die."

"Lexa chuckles, watching the younger girl's amazement. She can't help but admire the girl's character. Even after everything, she still always kept a positive mind. It was much like Costia and Anya, but very different as well; she was still innocent. She guesses it's because she was with the other two for so long that it had ended up as a sixth sense to expect optimism from the girls. But Octavia was much different. She found excitement in the smallest of things and brought a flame to Lexa's burned out torch.

"Have you ever read Norwegian Wood?" Lexa asks the two girls. Octavia's bright eyes look up to Lexa's and she shakes her head. Indra takes the book from Lexa and reads the back of. "It's one of my favorite books. I highly recommend it." Indra nods and drops the book into the sack Octavia carries that is now slowly filling with books.

Lexa and Indra leave Octavia in the romance fiction aisle as they spread out and grab things. Lexa finds herself walking past the comics and graphic novels shelves and laughs when she finds a certain title. She quickly slides the volumes into her bag.

"Octavia?!" A voice calls from the entrance of the large store. Lexa's heart drops. The deep voice echoing through the store could only belong to one person, and when another familiar voice begins calling out as well, Lexa knows she's in for a world of trouble. She would rather face a herd of Stiffs than the pair of angry, overly protective Bellamy and Clarke at this moment.

Lexa turns around to see Bellamy storming towards her, Octavia arguing at the back of his head as she's being dragged along in Clarke's grasp.

"Bellamy, calm down! Octavia is okay!" Raven says as she chases after the enraged man.

Lexa can see the flames in Bellamy's eyes burning when he locks them with Lexa's. Lexa is a forest and Bellamy is the fire coming to destroy her, and she knows it's going to come. Lexa, however, isn't going to submit to whatever is coming. When he reaches her, she sees his fist is clenched and she sees the way he pulls it upward, and she doesn't wait for the blow. Lexa takes Bellamy's arm and kicks at his feet, throwing him to the ground and on his back in a split second. Bellamy grunts and fights to pull himself up, but Lexa has him pinned, not allowing him to move at all.

"How fucking dare you." He practically growls. "I had no fucking idea where she was! One minutes she's with Clarke and Raven and the next, they come to me and tell me she's missing! I was running around the whole damned place panicking until Gusuts told me saw you three leave the building. What the fuck were you thinking Lexa!? You must be out of your fucking mind!"

Bellamy pushes Lexa's arms off of him and climbs back up to his feet, towering over Lexa in show of his dominance. Lexa doesn't back down. She knows she may have screwed up a bit by not telling Bellamy or Clarke where they were going, but she wasn't going to show any hesitation in front of him. She sees Indra come into view and stand behind Bellamy, her stance protective and ready to throw him back to the ground if he makes any sort of attack at Lexa.

"Bell--" Octavia tries to speak but is cut off.

"Who do you think you are, taking my sister away like that without me even knowing?? Do you think this is some game? That everyone around you could be dead in a mere second but you're invincible??"

"I know this is not a game, Bellamy." Lexa says slowly through clenched teeth. "You don't think I know anyone can be dead in the blink of an eye? You don't think I know that? I sure as hell know that better than you do. Don't you fucking accuse me of that. I know any one of us could be breathing our last breath tomorrow. I know I should have told you about it, but I didn't want everyone to come with us. I wanted to spend time with Octavia and Indra, not with people who continue to talk to me like I was the one that was safe in a giant box of concrete for six months and they were the ones surviving out in the woods all that time. I am sick and tired of you people telling me how to do this stuff, as though I have no fucking idea how to do it. So sue me for wanting to leave for five fucking minutes without being bitched at for it."

Bellamy is glaring at Lexa as though he didn't hear a word she had said. Clarke lets go of Octavia's arm, letting her walk towards her brother. Clarke watches Lexa in silence, a pang of guilt in her chest for the point she makes. She was right: she was the one that was surviving out in the woods all this time, open for Walkers to see her, but people like Bellamy and Murphy were always telling her how to do something and yelling at her for not doing it the way they did it. She should be the one teaching them, not the other way around.

"Bell, we just wanted to get books to read. We wanted to surprise everyone. I didn't think it'd be such a big deal." Octavia pleads in an attempt to calm the atmosphere.

Bellamy lets out an angry huff of breath before turning away and storming off. "Come on, O." He says over his shoulder.

"I'll be right there." Octavia says. She looks to Clarke, who is still staring Lexa. "We're both fine, Clarke."

Lexa scoffs. "She's not here to make sure I am fine, Octavia. She is here to make sure _you_ are, and to yell at me for doing this. But I think I've had enough scolding for the day." With that, Lexa walks past Octavia and Clarke and Raven and everyone else from the group that seemed to have followed and makes her way back to the Wal-Mart with Indra at her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Ask me on Tumblr @ Gayassheda

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Clexa fanfic! And my first post on AO3! Hurray! Let me know what you think in the comments!!!


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